All these killers and terrorists (Can you name all of them for bonus points?) are currently housed at the federal Supermax prison in Colorado. But according to 90 of our brilliant U.S. senators (and Obama wasn't much help on this, unfortunately) theyt are one plastic spork and a couple of days of digging from popping up at the local 7-11 to ask your daughter on a date.

If you've thought America was on the brink of losing its mind, this may have been this week. Do senators really hold men and women who guard our federal prisons in such contempt? Shame on them. Jon Stewart has more: