When can my child stay home alone?
Here's what to consider before you decide to leave your child home alone.
With school out for the summer and the kids home, you'll probably find yourself faced with the tough job of deciding if they're old enough to be left alone. A generation ago this wasn't such a big deal. Relatives lived close by and if they couldn't help out, there was always a neighbor who'd step in.
That was a long time ago, and things have changed.
So what do you do if you need to leave the house and there's no one to watch the kids?
Like almost every other important parenting decision – it's up to you to decide what's best for your family and your particular situation.
Don't expect any help from the law either. In most states, including Pennsylvania and New Jersey, there are no legal requirements. The few states that do have legal minimums range from 6-years-old in Kansas all the way to 14 in Illinois.
So what do you do? Beth Bitler, Program Director of The Pennsylvania Family Support Alliance, offers some excellent advice. Things to consider are:
Age and maturity: Is your child responsible, able to care for herself, obey rules, and make good decisions?
Your child's feelings: How long will your child be alone? Will it be during the day or evening, at meal times or bed time?
How often will your child be home alone?
Are there other children in the house? How many children will be in the home without an adult? How do the children get along and is the older child able to care for younger ones?
And the most important concern of all – safety.
How safe is your neighborhood?
Do you have a safety plan for emergencies?
Does your child know his address, phone number, and how to call 911?
Can he contact you at all times if needed?
Who else is available to help in an emergency (a neighbor, for example)?
If your child is willing to and capable of handling this very grown-up responsibility, be advised to start off slowly. Just like all new skills, it's best to practice, practice, practice.
Have a trial period: Leave your child alone for a short time while you are nearby and see how he manages.
Role play: Act out possible situations to help your child learn what to do.
Establish rules: Make sure your child knows what is (and what is not) allowed when you're not home. Many parents find that having a chore list to keep kids busy is a good strategy.
Check-in: Call your child while you are gone and if possible, have a neighbor or friend drop by to make sure everything is okay.
Don't overdo it: Even a mature, responsible child shouldn't be left alone too much or too often. These are short-term solutions for short-term absences – a doctor's appointment, a meeting, or lunch with a friend. For longer periods of time, you'll need to find more permanent solutions.
- Check out camps and programs that fit your child's interests and your child care needs. You may be surprised how many communities sponsor neighborhood day camps, trips, theatre programs, and sports options. You could also consider "job-sharing"with you and a friend dividing babysitting responsibilities.
Most important, as always, talk to your child! Encourage him to share his feelings. Is he worried, burdened, or proud of being given this new responsibility? Keep the lines of communications open and be sure he feels completely comfortable sharing any concerns or asking questions.
Remember, summer can be a time for you and your children to relax, restore, and recover from an often stress-filled, tightly scheduled, overwhelming school-year. The entire family can benefit by taking a break from clock watching and routine and replacing it with free time spent exploring the outdoors, reading just for fun, trying out new hobbies, spending time together, or simply doing nothing other than sitting in the sunshine and listening to the birds calling to each other.
For other childcare and summer activity options check out the following:
City of Philadelphia: Youth Programs
Fun things to do with your kids in Delaware County: Summer camps
Have a question for the Healthy Kids panel? Ask it here. Read more from the Healthy Kids blog »