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Chase Utley doing Chase Utley things at alarming rate

- "He's just in a real good zone," Ryne Sandberg said of Chase Utley.

"And we all need to stay out of that zone to avoid being lined into left center." Sandberg looked over at Utley, who was staring into a mirror until it cracked. "Look, we're all very scared, okay?"

- Chase isn't the only Phillie with his mojo working. Jimmy Rollins nearly swagged a hole in the universe with a walk-ff home run/heckler curse-out this weekend.

When the Phillies build a Jimmy Rollins statue, this should be the pose. pic.twitter.com/eZuAd3iSSy

[@dhm]

- EXTRA! EXTRA! Yasiel Puig attacks teammate in Dodgers' dugout! Teammate responds by hitting Puig in skull with bat! Authorities cannot confirm when Puig's violent rampage will end! National baseball writers rushing to pen columns vindicating their weird public shamings!

- Joe Blanton's long con finally comes to a multi-million dollar close.

Joe Blanton retires, Angels still owe him $7.5 million
— #MLB

- Yankees Baseball: Catch the Fever!

- Eli Manning is the fastest quarterback to go from the inane "Is he elite?" conversation to the inane "Is he in decline?" conversation in NFL history. #congratsEli

- A 49ers linebacker casually mentioned that oh, that's right, he does have an explosive device with him as he attempts to board a plane.

- One anonymous NFL executive thinks bad things about Jadeveon Clowney, so everyone update your narratives. I mean, they guy won't even be doing anymore workouts because he could suffer a serious injury that would delay/ruin his career! THE GUY'S A BUM.

- You did it, Bubba Watson. You got Drake's approval.

Drake is so proud of Bubba Watson. pic.twitter.com/TyMNYo1MPz

- Stephen Strasburg, Danny Espinosa, and GM Mike Rizzo of the Nationals were not impressed by the Braves as Atlanta maintained its first place status and destroyed Washington 10-1 yesterday. Hardball Talk's Craig Calcaterra broke this concept down while only sort of blatantly revealing his Braves homerisim:

"Over the past two seasons Atlanta is 18-7 against the Nationals and won the division over them by ten games last year. One would think that, eventually, someone on that club might at least be open to the possibility that they're not quite as superior as they fancy themselves."