An inquisitive Riley Cooper found Chip Kelly on the sidelines one Sunday and, eager to help, asked his coach what the Eagles' plan was.

Kelly, normally a man of lengthy, eloquent, Shakespearan soliloquys, took the young man aside and explained to him, point by point, a strategy he'd devised one rainy afternoon in Oregon, when the Ducks had gone ahead by 50 or 60 points and he'd had the time to formulate another one of his classic, six-part, Rube Goldberg plays in which everything is dictated by the style of hat adorned by the offensive line coach at the time of the play call.

Nah, he just cursed at him.