Dusty Baker’s going to fix baseball with a single word: fisticuffs.

Major League Baseball loves to make radical, spontaneous, necessary changes to its standard formula. When there's a problem, like umpires consistently having the same strike zone as an insane person, they move to change it, because what kind of fans are going to keep watching a broken system?

That must be where Reds manager Dusty Baker got the idea to incorporate more bare-knuckle boxing into the sport.

After Johnny Cueto inexplicably threw at David DeJesus on Monday, Cubs pitcher Matt Garza took it personally, even saying something in a post game interview about Cueto knowing where to find him. But nobody made a fist.

"Guys are nicer now," Baker said.

"Just put them in a room, let them box and let it be over with. I always said this, let it be like hockey, let them fight, someone hits the ground and it's over with. I'm serious about that."

SIXTH TIME'S THE CHARM

The sixth Fast and Furious movie debuted over the holiday weekend, and as Geekadelphia pointed out, it was certainly a movie.

These movies are about rolling the dice, not thinking twice, and other simplistic rhyming couplets taken directly from the deeply complex lyrics of the song accompanying these images of cars trying to mate with trains.

IT'S ONLY A GAME

Matt Kemp's 2013 season has been quite admirable and impressive. Tragically, the best parts have happened off the field. And as he keeps getting better off the field, the worse he seems to get on it.

This weekend was the perfect microcosm of his head-scratching duality. First, he brought back the terminally ill child he initially gave his hat, jersey, and cleats to in San Francisco, and had him come down on the field, watch batting practice, and meet players.

Then,

SINGLED OUT

Back when the Phillies had a farm system, Jonathan Singleton was one of the names that made people giggle. He had power. He was young. He was Ryan Howard's heir apparent waiting for his chance to be churned out of an Eastern Pennsylvania slugger factory.

Then, we traded him for this guy.

And now, as Singleton prepares to make his season debut with Houston's low A club before jumping to triple A, it's the Astros fans bubbling with childlike enthusiasm and shouting that was supposed to be our childlike enthusiasm and shouting.

But hey, at least we have those memories from our year with Hunter Pence!

WORST PHILLIES STAT OF THE WEEKEND

Red Sox amount of Alfredo Aceves on the roster after making mince meat of Phillies: 0