Bears trounce Cowboys in front of hundreds of Mike Ditkas
- The Bears somehow had not retired Mike Ditka's number yet, so they took care of that last night at the Cowboys-Bears game, which caused a stream of Ditka images and memories, most of which look like this to varying degrees.
- Things were tougher for Cowboys alum. Emmitt Smith was watching the gripping contest last night, and for a little, it looked like it was going to be quite a contest. Sadly, you can easily track the Bears' seven straight touchdowns without punting by way of Smith's increasingly sad tweets.
- Jerry Jones was banished to the stairs, where he became a fire hazard.
- But the Bears had a great old time, mostly due to their aforementioned inability to be stopped by the Cowboys. Here is Alshon Jeffrey, who recently bought some real estate in the corner of the end zone, and came out to get the paper last night.
- If you thought Jadevon Clowney was dangerous before, he's now going 110 mph.
- Jason Kidd briefly lost his composure with an assistant coach, using what the media calls a "13-letter word," which will only take a small amount of counting on fingers to determine which one.
- The Mariners do not seem to have been aware that trading for David Price would include giving up their top prospect, so, you know. They're out.
- Everyone can relax, classes are still on as scheduled!