Matt Barkley is already a few things in Philadelphia; Chip Kelly's first drafted Eagles quarterback, the center of jokes he is not aware of, and also, the future of football.
As CBS Sports has decided, it only took a week or two and one organized team activity to deem Barkley the hero this city needs to put them over the top. After first reaching the top. Though at this point a lot of people would settle for "low-middle."
"While Barkley does not possess eye-popping straight-line speed or a howitzer for an arm, he does possess an impressive combination of the Three A's -- accuracy, awareness and anticipation -- traits that have historically translated into success in the NFL," writes Rob Rang in his article, "Barkley is the future in Philly."
It's good to have that all settled. Now, what the hell do we call him.
THE BEST OF DAVID GARRARD
David Garrard is pulling the plug on the whole "being the Jets quarterback" thing. In fact, just forget football entirely.
It's been a long, disk-herniating career for Garrard, whose talent was usually stifled by the sound of his bones snapping. Nevertheless, flashes of success have blinked across his career, and are worth remembering in the wake of his retirement.
Here's the best of former NFL quarterback and current Christian rock fan, David Garrard.
We're glad Hunter Pence is all right.
ENTER THE CHAPMAN
The Reds shut out the Marlins at home last night, bringing the Marlins one game shy of their 30th loss, 40 games into the season.
What wasn't really necessary was the slider Aroldis Chapman threw to end the game, which sent his "mind-shatteringness per nine innings" stats skyrocketing.
BIFF II: SON OF BIFF
It must be tough being the son of a celebrity, trying to make a separate name for yourself through the majesty of baseball.
But nobody has it tougher than Notre Dame High School's Tommy Wilson, who suffers from the weirdly specific handicap of probably having PG insults originally directed at Michael J. Fox hurled at him for the rest of his life.
Tommy's father is Tom Wilson, Sr., or Biff Tannen from Back to the Future. And while Biff himself has made it clear that he's done talking about Back to the Future, that doesn't mean his son doesn't want to every second of every day!