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Phillies not even close to trading Domonic Brown to A's for Yoenis Cespedes

- The Phillies finally made their big move of the offseason last night, in the alternate universe where this fake Chris Cotillo from SB Nation Twitter account is the real Chris Cotillo.

WAT "@ChrisCotiIlo: #Phillies and #Athletics agree to swap OFs Yoenis Cespedes for Domonic Brown."

- In our universe, this is the fake one, though, making this tweet the next sick, fake entry into the modern art of pretending to be a moderately well known sports writer and getting a bunch of strangers to believe your lies for a second. The real Cotillo did have some choice insight on a deal that actually went down.

Not kidding when I tell you guys the Ellsbury news will cause teenage girl riots in the streets of Boston. Like Bieber losing his voice

- There were all kinds of moves the Phillies didn't make yesterday - the Nationals got Doug Fister, Jacoby Ellsbury went to the Yankees, Justin Morneau got a deal with the Rockies, and now the Mets are talking to Curtis Granderson. By the close of business today, all players are predicted to have switched teams, as unnatural as it seems.

- Penn State is trying to make the subtle majesty of Christmas lights all about Penn State.

- So the Atlantic Division is terrible.

The Philadelphia 76ers are 7-12 and a 1/2 game behind Boston for the Atlantic Division lead.

- This guy may have an intensely flawed view of Chinese people, but he did convince a lot of them that he was Roger Federer.

- Just some ground being broken for the Vikings new stadium by a Bond villain and the nervous scientist henchman of said Bond villain.

Zygi Wilf and Gov Dayton toss dirt at Vikings Stadium Groundbreaking. pic.twitter.com/3yZ4e8exma

- Hey now - it's the middle of the week and Aaron Rodgers has not yet been ruled out for Sunday.

- Cary Williams had a special message for Bruce Arians, the Cardinals coach who patronized Chip Kelly's offense prior to the Eagles' win over Arizona on Sunday.