Shane Victorino recently announced, a year or four late, that he is no longer a switch hitter. So he will be stirring intense romantic feelings from solely the right side of the plate from now on.

Last night, as the Yankees were blasting the Red Sox 14-5 in the ninth, Shane Victorino had a big task ahead of him: Be the spark that lights a 10-run rally with only three outs to work with.

Shane failed at this. However, the man behind him in the stands was embarking on an even more intimidating endeavor: marriage to his girlfriend.

With no fanfare, jumbotron, or ring hidden in a box of popcorn, one man bent down on one knee, aided solely by the love in the air and the small Hawaiian nearby, furiously grounding out to third.

Kudos to you, sir. There's not a love in Philadelphia uninspired by the charm of Victorino.

We miss him.