6 tips for renovating with your spouse
Renovating or designing your home with your significant other is as exciting as it is stressful.
Renovating or designing your home with your significant other is as exciting as it is stressful.
In fact, a 2013 survey by Houzz found that 12 percent of couples consider breaking up mid-project.
"The best-case scenario is that both partners are on the same page and have the same style, budget and goals in mind," said Kelly Nelson, a local interior designer and owner of Kelly Nelson Designs. "But that doesn't happen all that often."
For Ian and Sarah Perler, renovating their first home together in Rittenhouse Square was a learning process - not only about the project but about each other.
"It was a lot of communicating, figuring out what each of us liked, and then executing a plan," said Ian Perler, a sales agent for Star Real Estate Group. "We had to work a lot to come to a consensus for which way to go."
They were happy with the result of their renovation: they opened up the kitchen and living area, put in new hardwood floors throughout, and updated the bathroom. But agreeing on each of details, including the tiles, cabinets and floor color, took effort on both sides. For example, Ian wanted a darker wood color while Sarah wanted lighter, so they chose a medium shade for the floors.
It's common for tastes to clash, so finding a way for both parties to be equally satisfied with the finished product can be challenging.
Here are some tips for going about the process smoothly:
1. Find a balance – If you and your spouse have different tastes, try to meet halfway and find something that you both can agree on. For example, Perler said he has more of a modern taste while his wife prefers traditional, so they found something in between the two styles when picking out a bathroom sink.
2. Combine furnishings when necessary – Perler said he and his wife were coming from separate apartments, so they had two sets of everything when they moved to Rittenhouse. He said finding a way to make the furniture work together was harder than the design process, but they carefully figured out what to do. "She had a nicer couch than I did, but I had a nice TV stand, so we kept her couch and my TV stand," he said. "We just tried to keep everything together and save what was the best."
3. Figure out a budget – and stick to it – Nelson said she constantly sees the most anxiety coming from budgets. She advises to plan out what you're going to spend on each item and stick to it as much as possible.
4. Compromise –
Nelson said that when couples have very different tastes, it can be hard to mesh styles. “Trying to strike a happy medium so that everyone’s happy doesn’t work often,” she said. “I think in the end the room is not as successful because neither partner is very happy with it.” In this case, she said it usually ends up with one partner “giving in.” Each person is not going to agree on every decision, so compromising is key.
5. Create personalized spaces – One of the ways to compromise is for each partner to create a personalized space. Nelson said it's typical for the female to have more of a say in the bedroom and living room, and the male to usually create his own office space/living room. This allows each person to create a space unique to his or her tastes.
6. Do your research – Nelson suggests hiring a third party to help couples plan the design. She also said to look online and in design magazines for help. "Everybody knows what they don't like, but they don't always know what they like," she said. "Keep a collection of photos you like and you'll start to see a trend and a pattern of what you like the most. When you do that, you may find some more similarities with your spouse.
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