One thing that doesn't suck for Lenny Dykstra: The Los Angeles County Prosecutor's Office.
Prosecutors declined to file charges against the former Phillies great over sexual-assault allegations by a former housekeeper, the Los Angeles Times reports.
The maid told authorities that Dykstra forced her to give him oral sex on Saturdays, but investigators noted a lack of evidence that the fellatio had been forced upon her.
The complainant, 41, told police she "needed the job and the money so she went along with the suspect's requests rather than lose her job," according to the filing cited by the Times.
She came forward to allege the assault after Dykstra, who blew millions he made on various business ventures and declared bankruptcy in 2009, failed to pay her $2,000.
The paper cited investigators' reports that the woman texted Dykstra to get her job back. The housekeeping job, that is.
"This is a maid. That's not even worth commenting on. Are you kidding me?" Dykstra told the newspaper. Dykstra, who was known as "Nails" and whose own mouth was regularly full of chewing tobacco during his baseball days, said the woman had been trying to extort him for money to buy drugs.