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Handing out 10 awards from the Eagles-Vikings game

The Andy Reid Award for Excellence in Abandoning the Run Game: Chip Kelly

LeSean McCoy set a new team rushing record with 217 rushing yards last week against the Lions. Against the Vikings he carried the ball 8 times.


Nick Foles, meanwhile, attempted 48 passes. This game was almost exactly like a classic infuriating Andy Reid loss in which he would completely abandon the run by the 2nd quarter.

The Mall of America Squib Kick Bowl Award: Chip Kelly, Dave Fipp, and Alex Henery

Cordarrelle Patterson is a baller. He's dangerous as a multi-talented weapon on offense, and he's a great kick returner. However, at some point, after the Vikes knew full well that a squib kick was coming and were ready for it, they were repeatedly set up with great field position to start their drives.

Patterson is a great young player, but he's not so great that the Eagles should have been willing to sacrifice drive starts at the 40 yard line.

And furthermore, how many kickers in the NFL routinely kick the ball out of the end zone in domes? I guess Alex Henery is incapable of that?

The Snow Bowl was a lot more fun than the Squib Kick Bowl.

The Ghost of Joe Webb Award: Matt Asiata, and the freaking Vikings

In 2010, the Eagles had won 6 of 7 games, and were playing a weird Tuesday night game against the Vikings. An exotic blitzing Vikings defense and a feisty Joe Webb won the day. The Eagles have been terrible ever since...

...until this season, when they rattled off 5 straight wins, and were facing a Vikings team without Adrian Peterson, Toby Gerhart and a bunch of other starters.

3rd string RB Matt Asiata had 3 TDs, and although it wasn't as if he killed the Eagles, his complete lack of name recognition stands as a symbol of this Eagles loss. The Eagles were beaten, and occasionally dominated, by a bunch of nobodies.

The Empty Stats Award: Nick Foles

Foles wasn't bad against the Vikings, but it's hard to say that he was good, although his numbers would certainly make you think he was.

30 of 48, 428 yards, 8.9 YPA 3 TD, 1 INT, 103.5 QB rating.

The "Must Win" on the Horizon Award: The Eagles

As of this typing, the Cowboys are in complete control against the Packers. They also play a complete disaster in the Redskins next week. If the Cowboys win both games, the Eagles have to beat the Bears just for the Week 17 showdown against the Cowboys to actually mean something, or else they'll be eliminated.

UPDATE: With the Cowboys' glorious meltdown against the Packers, the Eagles cannot be eliminated if they lose to the Bears.

The "Over-Officious Jerks" Award: The referee's taunting calls

In a span of 10 plays in the 4th quarter, the officials called 4 unsportsmanlike conduct or unnecessary roughness penalties, none of which looked bad when FOX showed the replay. Officiating has been brutally bad in the NFL this year.

The Potty Mouth Award: DeSean Jackson

DeSean was caught on the sidelines seemingly yelling "I don't give a f***!" That's not what he was saying, according to my sources.

He was actually yelling "I don't gift a frog!" Apparently, Jason Avant had asked DeSean if he would get him a frog for Christmas, which DeSean objected to, emphatically.

So I Guess They Still Need Safeties Award: Howie Roseman

The safety play from the Eagles has been much better in recent weeks, so much so that I think a lot of fans began to soften their thinking that the safety position might not be a major need this offseason. Matt Cassel exposed the Eagles' safeties today to the tune of 382 passing yards. This game should serve as a reminder that the Eagles could absolutely use some more help on the back end.

The Explosive Play Award: Everybody

The Eagles had, by my count, 8 plays of 20+ yards. That brings their season total to 88. The 2001 Rams (Greatest Show on Turf) had 96. The Eagles are well on their way toward beating that.

Unfortunately, the Eagles gave up 6 plays of 20+ yards, by my count. That included a 57 yard TD to Greg Jennings and several 3rd and long conversions.

That's not to say it was just the safeties. The Eagles defense as a whole was awful today. 48 points... to freaking Matt Cassel and the Vikings.

The "Let's Maintain Some Perspective" Award: Eagles fans

The great Derek Sarley of the Eagletarian put the season in perspective after the loss:

Oh well. At least we're still watching meaningful December football and they control their own destiny.