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Handing out 15 awards from the Eagles-Bears game

The Eagles put up 54 points against the Bears in an absolute stomping Sunday night. In appeciation of their blowout victory, I'm going to hand out 15 awards instead of the usual 10.

"The Greatest Show on Reinforced Natural Grass" Award: The Eagles' offense

The Eagles had 5 plays of 20+ yards, which is actually below their average on the season. So far this year, they have 93 plays of 20+ yards, or 6.2 per game, which is now the 2nd highest total since the league started tracking that statistic in 1991. The only team ahead of them is the 2001 Rams, or "The Greatest Show on Turf," who had 96 plays of 20+ yards.

4 to go.

The 'B' Button Award: LeSean McCoy

The spin move that Shady put on a Bears defender was sick:

It's like Shady hit the 'B' button in a video game.

The Lovable Hater Award: Cary Williams

Cary Williams was asked if he's grown to hate Dallas yet. After giving it some thought, Cary replied, "I tend to kind of hate everybody."

The Ultimate Motivator Award: Cary Williams' wife

Williams said that a number of people told him that he wasn't playing with the same aggressiveness lately. "When my wife said it," explained Williams, "then it really kind of sunk in and I had to listen because she's been following me for a long time, watching how I played, and said I just didn't have the same aggressiveness like how I used to. I gave a bunch of excuses why, but then I look in the mirror, and it just is what it is. I am what I put out there on the field."

When your girl calls you out, that's probably more motivating than anything a coach can say.

The Patrick Swayze Award: Evan Mathis

After the game, Evan Mathis was picking up somebody (presumably his wife) over his head, like Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing. I snapped a picture of it. I swear I'm not a stalker.

The Best Not Miss Award: Brandon Boykin

"Ay yo listen here, Jay... You throw at the Boy King, you best not miss."

Brandon's brother Al approves:

Hey mom! There go that man @BrandonBoykin2 again!! #Ballin #Slightwork #Playmaker

The "HOLD IT HIGH AND TIGHT!!!" Award: LeSean McCoy and Bryce Brown

LeSean McCoy was stripped of the football when he wasn't holding it high and tight. He was lucky that the play was overturned on review. Bryce Brown was also carrying the football away from his body, although he has yet to fumble this season. I suspect Duce Staley will be on the RBs about ball security this week in practice.

In fairness, the Eagles did rush for 289 yards, so we can live with one 'almost' fumble... I guess.

The "Walk Like an Egyptian" Award: Cedric Thornton

One of my favorite things in football is when players beg for a play to be called a safety. It looks like they're doing an Egyptian dance.

Congrats to Cedric Thornton, who begged for a safety, and got it after a review.

The Bad News Bears Award: The, um... Bears

The Bears were so bad, that I legitimately thought the Eagles would have trouble running out the clock late in the game because the Bears couldn't tackle anybody:

It's going to be hard running out the clock against this Bears run D when they can't tackle anyone.

I tweeted that just before Bryce Brown's 65 yard TD run. (Self-serving pat on the back). That might be my favorite personal tweet of the season.

Seriously though, the Eagles beat down the Bears so badly, I feel like they should serve the Bears pancakes.

The Bizarro Trent Award: Trent Cole

Remember when Trent Cole used to start off the season on fire, then cool off down the stretch. He's the exact opposite of that this season.

The Perfect Game Award: The Eagles' red zone offense

5 for 5. No big deal.

The "May the Schwartz (never) Be With You" Award: Chip Kelly

When LeSean McCoy fumbled, Chip Kelly threw his challenge flag in error, as turnovers are reviewed automatically. This goof is referred to as the Schwartz Rule, which you can read up on in full here, with the gist of it being as follows:

The rule has commonly been referred to as the "Jim Schwartz rule" after the Lions coach who found out the hard way on Thanksgiving that throwing the challenge flag negated the referee's automatic review. The rule cost the Lions dearly in their loss to the Texans, as Houston was awarded an 81-yard touchdown run even though running back Justin Forsett was clearly down after seven yards.

Schwartz said after the game that he knew the rule but was caught up in the emotions of seeing an obviously wrong call go against his team, in the future, those obviously wrong calls will be reviewed, even if a coach throws his flag.

May the Schwartz be with you, Chip:

OK, so actually Chip, Schwartz is an abysmal coach who is almost certainly going to be fired after this season. We all love what you're building here, but don't ever let the Schwartz be with you.

The "Flex" Award: Eagles

That's now two weeks in a row the Eagles have been flexed to Sunday Night Football.

Eagles... So hot right now... Eagles.

The Unmanly Eagles Legend Autograph Award: Bill Bergey

Bill Bergey stopped by my buddy SR's tailgate before the game, and signed an autograph for him. Apparently, a Bill Bergey autograph is not complete without a smiley face in the B.

The "Oh yeah, Nick Foles Was Good Too" Award: Mr. Foles

21 of 25, 230 yards, 9.2 YPA, 2 TD, 0 INT, 131.7 QB Rating. Yawn.

See you in your yard next Sunday, Dallas.