On mobile? Click here to enlarge
Sorry Swoop, but with all the speculation about Chip Kelly wanting to trade for Marcus Mariota, it's only a matter of time before you're shipped out of town.
You see, scheme matters, and you're just not the right bird to fit in Kelly's system. Unfortunately, trading for another white bird would do nothing to satiate the complaints of Stephen "Look at Me" Smith, who thinks Chip Kelly is somehow a racist because Riley Cooper is still on the team (note to Smith: "Racist" Chip Kelly has 7 black coaches on his staff).
So what's Kelly's endgame? Well, despite the fact the Eagles have reshaped their roster more than any other team this offseason, Inquirer columnist Bob Brookover thinks there's no reason for us to expect Kelly to slow down.
Unfortunately, many national news outlets haven't been high on the moves "Kelly the GM" has made… and not made. NFL.com draft analyst Lance Zierlein reported that the Eagles wanted both Frank Gore and Andre Johnson, and lost out on both:
Then there are the folks over at ESPN.
Tony Kornheiser on Monday's "Pardon the Interruption" lamented Kelly for "shedding receivers and running running like snakes do with their skin," noting that he "still doesn't get" Chip's plan and dinging the coach for never winning a national championship while at Oregon.
Kornheiser's co-host, Michael Wilbon, reiterated that he's a "skeptic" of Chip Kelly and won't be convinced until "they win some games"
On Sportscenter Tuesday morning, Mark Schlereth wryly asked, "How are you going to operate the spread offense if you spread your talent to other teams in the NFL?"
Let's not forget ESPN's amazingly-optimistic coverage of the Eagles offseason moves:
This whole idea that power-hungry Chip is now terraforming Philadelphia into "Oregon of the East" is nothing new. In fact, I've already drawn my fair share of cartoons about it. I just hope it works out: