Ask Amy | Snoopy neighbors visit a home site under construction

Dear Amy:

My family is in the process of building a new home. During this time, we are living on-site (in a garage apartment) while our house is under construction.

A neighborhood family (church and school acquaintances) is in the beginning stages of construction on a home. This couple and their children have come by our construction site unannounced several times within the last few months. They have announced upon entering our construction site that they are just "checking out things."

My spouse and I are in the construction/design business, and we do not appreciate being used for free advice on everything from materials to products.

No matter how unfinished the job site appears, this property is our home. How do we deal with these nosy and rude drop-ins in a mature and efficient manner?

Dear Concerned: Would these people enter your home and help themselves to a cup of coffee while you're cooking dinner, just to "check out" how your dinner's coming along? OK. Maybe they would. But they should be stopped.

In addition to being intrusive and annoying to you, no one should wander around a construction site uninvited. If your temporary flooring gave way and one of them landed in your basement, then you'd be liable.

Because these people don't seem to respect common-sense boundaries, you're going to have to introduce them to the concept.

Simply tell them that you aren't showing your home to anyone until it's finished. You shouldn't need to explain further, but if they pump you for free design and construction advice, say, "Let me give you my business card. Give me a call and we'll set up an appointment for a consultation during business hours."

Dear Amy: I work in a small office with two other women. We are a fairly close-knit group and often give each other household items, trade recipes, swap child-raising advice, go to lunch together, etc.

A few weeks ago, when I brought up the subject of a household item that I wanted to purchase, my coworker said that she had one that she has never used, and she offered to bring it to the office. I offered to pay her for it, but she declined; she then jokingly said that I would probably have to "hound" her to bring it to me.

I've reminded her a couple of times, and each time she laughs it off and says that she'll bring the item the next day. I don't want to be rude by continually asking about the item, and I don't want to offend my coworker, but I would like to have the item that she offered to give me. How should I handle this situation?

Dear Buddy: You could remind your coworker about this one more time, but creatively. Find a clip of a suitable "hound" on YouTube and e-mail it to your friend, along with the message, "You asked me to hound you for your waffle maker, but I'm not very good at hounding, so I'm leaving it to an actual hound." (I checked the YouTube Web site - www.youtube.com - and turned up several adorable basset hounds.)

If your friend still doesn't remember after three or four days, then go ahead and purchase the item. Keep the receipt, though. Once she understands that you've purchased it, she'll probably insist on presenting the item to you the following day.

Either way, remember that she had good intentions.