Tattle | For Mario Sims, the show is everything

IT'S DIFFICULT to think of a scenario too ridiculous for "The

Jerry Springer

Show."

So try this one.

An accused child molester cut off his electronic monitoring bracelet, then took a limo to Chicago to appear with Jerry.

A judge set bail Friday at $50,000 for Mario Sims, 21, who had been awaiting trial on 2004 charges of child enticement and first-degree sexual assault of a child.

Defense lawyer Margaret Johnson argued against the bail amount - after all, Sims is a TV star - but Racine, Wis., County Circuit Judge Emily Mueller stood firm.

"A significant bond is legally necessary given the fact he absconded, admittedly for one of the more unique reasons I've heard in my time on the bench," the judge said.

According to court records, Sims had been out of jail three weeks when he cut off the bracelet and missed court. His lawyer at the time, Domingo Cruz, told the judge his client was seen getting into the TV show's limousine.

As for the episode Sims appeared on, TV.com described it as: "Outrageous nuptials! Returning guest Mario is a proud father and is ready to marry his baby's mother - who's also his half-sister."

Papa's got a brand new box

Two months after his death, James Brown's body was placed in a crypt Saturday at the Beech Island home of one his daughters, family and friends said.

White balloons were released and Brown's adult children and other family members and friends sang and prayed over the singer's body, said the Rev. Al Sharpton, who presided over the noon ceremony.

Also at the service were Brown's partner, Tomi Rae Hynie, and the couple's young son, who led the procession. "This is what James wanted, for the family to come together. Everyone really felt like James was there with us," Hynie said.

Brown will likely move again. A public mausoleum is being built and its location will be announced once it's completed, the family said.

Brown's children decided to use their own money to place his body in the crypt instead of waiting for disputes over his estate to be settled in court, Sharpton said in a statement.

"Where he is now has nothing to do with court proceedings," Sharpton said.

Can we get an amen!

Now that the family has come together, Hynie said she and her son will move back to South Carolina "to carry out James' plans."

(That boy is young so those plans better be light.)

"He wanted our marital home to become a Graceland. He wanted us to have a James Brown museum," Hynie said.

Comic book movie news

The Hollywood Reporter says John August ("Charlie and the Chocolate Factory") will adapt "Shazam!" for New Line Cinema. Peter Segal ("Anger Management") will direct.

"It's a unique opportunity to do a comic book movie where the character in it actually reads comic books," said August. "What's terrific about the character is that he looks like this superstudly superhero but is really a 13-year-old boy. And to approach everything that is great about a superhero movie from a 13-year-old boy's perspective was a unique way in."

Aren't all superhero movies approached from the perspective of 13-year-old boys?

* The Hollywood Reporter also reports that Maggie Gyllenhaal is likely to take over the role of D.A. Rachel Dawes in "The Dark Knight," Christopher Nolan's sequel to "Batman Begins."

Dawes was originally portrayed by Katie Holmes, who has scheduling (read: Tom Cruise) conflicts.

(For more comics news, see Jerome Maida on Page 32.)

Tattbits

* Rob Morrow almost got a little too much northern exposure. He and fellow actors Chad Lowe and Fisher Stevens had to be rescued by the Aspen Ski Patrol after they and other skiers got lost in snow and fog and ended up out of bounds.

Ski Patrol members led the group to the bottom of the mountain, three hours through heavy snow, streams and dense forest.

* A movie production company was forced to begin shooting in New York Saturday without Busta Rhymes after the NYPD raised security concerns.

Last year Rhymes angered officers when he refused to cooperate with the investigation of his bodyguard's murder during the filming of a music video.

His new film's title? "Order of Redemption."

"This is tremendously unfair to Busta, who has been nothing but professional during this project," director Jeff Celentano said in a statement. "This is a bigger loss for the city of New York."

New York will get over it.

* Beau Monde, a posh California rehab center not to be confused with the creperie on Bainbridge Street, is suing Courtney Love, claiming she has refused to pay her bill for her 11-week stay there .

The suit, filed March 1 in Orange County, said Love paid $10,000 when she entered the oceanfront retreat in August 2005, but she still owes $181,286.

Beau Monde guests are treated to gourmet meals, yoga and massages and are allowed to leave for golfing and hiking.

If only we all could afford such rehab.

* Salma Hayek is engaged and pregnant.

Happily for all except Maxim, the fiance/father is not Penelope Cruz, but businessman Francois-Henri Pinault, CEO of PPR SA, which owns high-end labels such as Gucci.

Gee, we were so sure Salma would end up with a poor schlub.

* Eve Ensler, writer of "The Vagina Monologues," has agreed to speak at the New York school district where three girls were suspended after they used the word "vagina" while reciting a passage from the play.

Don't say it, Eve. You might get expelled. *

Daily News wire services contributed to this report.

Send e-mail to gensleh@phillynews. com