Tattle | Lindsay's back in rehab after arrest

SO WHEN DOES this whole

Lindsay Lohan

soap opera merely become one long, sad joke?

Sounds like yesterday.

Lindsay, the once-adorable moppet turned train wreck (car wreck might be more apt), was barely home from rehab long enough to open her mail when she was arrested again for allegedly driving drunk.

Police hauled her in about 1:30 a.m. Pacific time (mid-afternoon Lindsay time).

To make matters worse, police also found cocaine in her pocket - we told you she also needed an ankle bracelet for her nose.

Lindsay had a blood-alcohol level of between 0.12 and 0.13, Sgt. Shane Talbot said.

Her attorney, Blair Berk, earning a substantial sum of money to state the obvious, said Lindsay had relapsed and was again receiving medical care.

"Addiction is a terrible and vicious disease," Berk said.

The latest sordid chapter began when authorities received a 911 call from the mother of Lindsay's former personal assistant, said Lt. Alex Padilla. The assistant had quit that day, he said.

"The mother was afraid," Padilla said. "She wasn't quite sure what was going on so she called the police . . . "

What was going on was that Lindsay's SUV was chasing her black Cadillac Escalade.

Police said the woman drove into the parking lot of Santa Monica's Civic Auditorium, conveniently situated about a block from the Santa Monica PD. In hot pursuit was Lindsay. Authorities arrived and saw Linds and the woman in "heated debate," Padilla said.

Two men were with Lindsay, including the SUV's owner. Yes, the car wasn't even hers. Someone let her drive.

Padilla said Lindsay was unable to walk a straight line, touch her nose (maybe they should have let her try it with a straw) or follow a small light with her eyes. Officers also detected the smell of alcohol, Padilla said.

She was booked for investigation of driving under the influence and driving on a suspended license and possession of cocaine and transport of a narcotic.

Those last two are felonies.

During the pre-booking search, police found the coke.

Several hours later, Linds was released on $25,000 bail.

To think it was only last week that Lindsay turned herself in to Beverly Hills police to face her Memorial Day weekend DUI allegations. (The court date for that one is Aug. 24.)

After bailing her out yesterday, Berk said Lindsay had been tested daily in order to support her sobriety.

"Throughout this period, I have received timely and accurate reports from the testing companies," Berk said. "Unfortunately, late yesterday I was informed that Lindsay had relapsed. . . . She is safe, out of custody and presently receiving medical care."

* In Touch Weekly reported yester-

day that Lindsay canceled her appearance last night on "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno" and was already on her way back to rehab.

She was slated to plug her new movie, "I Know Who Killed Me."

Obviously, she doesn't know.

* Lindsay's father, Michael Lohan,

told TMZ.com he wants to take a time-out on the custody fight he's having with wife Dina.

"I want to withdraw everything - courtwise - sit down with Dina as Lindsay's parents and figure out how to help her," Michael said. "Lindsay can't do this on her own . . . when we were together, none of this was happening."

Then Michael went to jail and Dina decided she was Lindsay's twin sister.

* Meanwhile, in a clear example of

how messed up Lindsay's taste in men is, Britain's Daily Star reports that Lindsay's loves-me-loves-me-not boyfriend/enabler, Calum Best, allegedly dumped her because she's "too boring" when she's sober.

Hey, Calum, good news . . .

Gaper delay No. 2

What do you do if you're a celebrity mag known for pretty pictures, puff pieces and access, and you get an exclusive image-pumping sit-down and that sit-down turns into a meltdown?

Surprisingly, OK! magazine is not going to censor its day with Britney Spears.

In a statement to TMZ.com, OK! Editor-in-Chief Sarah Ivens said, "OK! magazine spent a heartbreaking day with Britney Spears and witnessed first-hand an emotional cry for help that will leave you shocked and sad."

If you want to be "shocked" and "sad," OK! is out Friday.

Rap sheet

Ja Rule and Lil Wayne were arraigned on felony gun charges Monday following separate arrests after a hip-hop concert at which both had performed.

Ja Rule, of Saddle Brook, N.J., and two men with him were stopped for speeding about 10:30 p.m. Sunday, and a police computer check of their 2004 Maybach luxury car showed it had no insurance and a suspended registration, prosecutors said.

When police stopped the pricey car, they "detected a strong odor of marijuana," prosecutor Joan Illuzzi-Orbon told the court. A loaded .40-caliber semiautomatic was recovered from the rear driver's-side door, she said.

Lil Wayne, who lives in Miami, was arrested an hour or so later in a tour bus near the Beacon Theater, where the rappers had performed, Illuzzi-Orbon said. Police officers smelled pot, and as they got closer Lil Wayne tossed a bag with a loaded .40-caliber handgun, she said.

Police believed that another person, so far uncharged, had stuffed seven pounds of marijuana down the bus' toilet as officers approached, prosecutors said.

Guys, it's a bus. Anything flushed stays on the bus. *

Daily News wire services and Baird Jones contributed to this report.

Send e-mail to gensleh@phillynews.com