THE ETHNIC-discrimination card has finally been played in

L'affaire

Schwarzenegger

.

Mildred "Patty" Baena's 27-year-old daughter, Jackie Rozo (Arnold played no part in her conception), told Telemundo that the relationship with her mother and the Sperminator is "just a big thing because she's Hispanic, and he's a celebrity."

Huh?

We thought the story was a big thing because the former governor of California/movie star kept a love child secret for more than a decade and had that love child with an employee.

That she was Hispanic made it only easier to use the Arnold catchphrase "Hasta la vista, baby."

Jackie added that she had "no idea" her half-brother was half a Schwarzenegger until the Los Angeles Times broke the story.

* As for yesterday's update

about Arnold Mistress No. 2,

Gigi Goyette, Team Arnold claims she's a fibber.

Arnold's attorney says Gigi told her story to the National Enquirer a decade ago and was paid a tidy sum to tell it.

"This woman recently sold at least four stories to the tabloids relating to my client," the lawyer told People. "She's just a person who wants to make money selling stories. Her actions speak for themselves."

When Arnold was an actor, wasn't he just a person who wanted to make money selling stories?

On "Entertainment Tonight," Arnold's attorney also denied that the ex-governor had used California funds to hide his affairs.

Considering that Arnold has more money than California, that one we believe.

Tattle real estate

TMZ.com reports that Charlie Sheen has put Sober Valley Ranch up for sale.

Price: $7.2 million - porn stars not included, but anything you can snort off the carpets is yours.

The 7,924-square-foot estate has five well-used bedrooms and seven DNA-filled baths.

Tattle stork

Congratulations to our 24/7 colleague Dan Gross, and his wife, Holly Maher, a special assistant to Councilman Jack Kelly, on the birth of Piper Maher Gross.

The baby tipped the scales at 5 pounds, 11 ounces and measured 18 inches.

She was born at 10:22 Wednesday night at Pennsylvania Hospital and immediately began dishing the dirt on other babies in the maternity ward.

Tattle, Big Fat Friday and the entire Daily News wish the best to Dan, Holly and Piper.

Burgers for a cause

In yesterday's Eats Beat column, an item about next Saturday's (June 4) Philadelphia Burger Brawl, from 2-6 p.m. at William M. Meredith Elementary Public School (725 S. 5th Street) said tickets for the school fundraiser cost $100.

Thanks to sponsors like the Daily News, the price will be only $60. You can get tickets through Ticketleap.com.

The Brawl is the brainchild of Rob and Maggie Wasserman, owners of Rouge on Rittenhouse Square, and it will pit top area chefs against one another for several titles, including "People's Choice," as voted by the attendees, and "Best Burger," selected by celebrity judges: Food Network host Marc Summers, Mike Jerrick of Fox 29's "Good Day Philadelphia," Matt Cord of 93.3 WMMR, Winston Justice of the Eagles and state Sen. Larry Farnese. Burger fans can also vote online for their favorite at Philly.com.

Chefs will include Marcie Turney of Barbuzzo, Bindi and Lolita; Matt Levin of Adsum; "Top Chef" contestant Jennifer Carroll of 10Arts; Daniel Stern of Midatlantic and R2L, and Chris Scarduzio of Table 31. Other restaurants competing will include London Grill, Butcher & Singer, Pub & Kitchen, Good Dog Bar & Restaurant, North Third, Alfa American Taven, Ladder 15, PYT, Paesano's, and of course, Rouge, home to one of GQ's 20 best burgers in America; and its sister restaurant, 500 Degrees.

Tattbits

* MSNBC's Ed Schultz is off the air until June 6 after calling conservative talk-show host Laura Ingraham a "right-wing slut." He was apparently upset over her criticism of PresidentObama's overseas trip.

Schultz apologized on MSNBC to Ingraham, his family and viewers for the remark. He said it was wrong and uncalled for, and he recognized the severity of what he said.

* About the time she'd normally be crawling home after a night of clubbing, Lindsay Lohan returned to a women's jail before dawn yesterday.

She was released before rush hour to begin serving a four-month jail sentence at her home for a probation violation.

Lindsay left lockup with an ankle monitor that she must wear for about 35 days, busy sheriff's spokesman Steve Whitmore said. Lindsay is paying the costs of the monitoring.

Superior Court Judge Stephanie Sautner sentenced her to 120 days in jail and 480 hours of community service after determining that Lindsay took a necklace without permission.

Sautner said at a hearing that if Lindsay served time under house arrest, she could not leave to whittle down her community-service hours at a women's shelter and the county morgue.

Lindsay agreed, realizing that if she didn't turn her life around, her visit to the county morgue could be in a bodybag.

Daily News wire services contributed to this report.