Tattle | QB Tom Brady named as dad-to-be

TALK ABOUT winning the genetic lottery.

Your mother-to-be is a beautiful, successful actress.

Your father-to-be is a two-time Super Bowl MVP.

Darn right you're going to Disney World.

Bridget Moynahan is three months pregnant and her publicist said yesterday that the father is New England Patriots QB Tom Brady.

Which is a heckuva lot better than Howard K. Stern, Larry Birkhead or Prince Frederic von Anhalt.

Brady and Moynahan, a ridiculously attractive couple, split up late last year after a three-year relationship.

Could this mean . . .

. . . A "break-up sex" baby?

Brady has been getting over the breakup with superdupermodel Gisele Bundchen (another example why you should teach your sons to be 6-foot-5 NFL quarterbacks).

Bridget has been getting over the breakup watching a stick change color.

After the New York Post broke the story Sunday, yesterday Moynahan's publicist, Christina Papadopoulos, said in a statement that Bridget "is over three months pregnant. Former boyfriend Tom Brady is the father."

"Privacy and consideration is appreciated at this time," the statement said. "No further comments will be made."

Two people who showed consideration for the ex-couple's privacy yesterday by not commenting were Brady's agent, Donald Yee, and Patriots spokesman Stacey James.

Memo to Britney Spears

Tattle has been advising celebrities like you for years and none of you have listened.

Has your willful disobedience brought you any measure of happiness or health? Of course not.

It's just one long, downward spiral out of control.

So, pay attention, Britney Spears, before you, too, are found unconscious with a jug of methadone in your fridge.

Get the hell out of Dodge.

Forget your new album. No one cares, it's not going to be any good and if it is good it's only going to bring you more of the fame that is ruining your life.

So give it up.

You're wealthier than all 100 of my newsroom colleagues combined and you're more miserable. This is quite difficult since we're pretty miserable.

Walk away.

Dump all your friends - none of them is behaving like a friend anyway.

Take your two kids, one nanny and one bodyguard and find some small junior college as close to the middle of nowhere as possible. Some place where the only nightlife is a bored owl. Some place the paparazzi can't get to without a GPS system and a sled dog.

You're a single mother of two - act like one.

Go to school.

Come home from class and play with your kids, spoon out some Gerber's, then do your homework and go to bed. Then do it again. Create a normal routine for yourself and your babies. Achieve something for yourself without a team of sycophants and hangers-on telling you how beautiful and talented you are as they wear your clothes, eat your food and spend your dough.

Sure, being the pop tart of the town was fun, but it's over. Forget "I'm Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman."

You're a woman.

You're 25.

And you're bald.

So unless you've decided to become a Hare Krishna, it's time to start over.

Go to school.

Kimmel organ on CD

Tom Di Nardo reports that the sonic wonders of the Kimmel Center's new Fred J. Cooper organ, recorded live last May, are now available on CD. This new Philadelphia Orchestra release on the Ondine label features music director Christoph Eschenbach and the famed organist of Paris' Notre Dame Cathedral, Oliver Latry.

If you're interested in the music selections, Di Nardo informed Tattle that Samuel Barber's splashy "Toccata Festiva" was written to celebrate the Academy of Music's newly installed organ in 1961. Poulenc's rhapsodic Concerto for Organ, Strings and Timpani is a magnificent audio test. The CD ends with Saint-Saens' Third "Organ" Symphony. Occasionally rambling, it receives an unusually intense reading from Eschenbach's musicians.

Tattbits

* L.A. police said Ray Liotta

("Wild Hogs," "Goodfellas") was arrested on suspicion of DUI after crashing his car into two parked vehicles in Pacific Palisades.

Liotta was taken into custody just before 8:30 p.m. Saturday and booked on a misdemeanor DUI charge, said Los Angeles Police spokesman Mike Lopez.

He was released after posting $15,000 bail and ordered to appear in court next month.

* The Hollywood Reporter con-

firms that teenage sleuths the Hardy Boys are growing up in "Hardy Men." Tom Cruise and Ben Stiller will star as the estranged brothers, now adults, who must reunite to solve a mystery.

There's no script yet but they're hoping to shoot next year.

* What the Fock?

In other Stiller news, it looks as if his film family will continue with "Meet the Little Focker."

* Bahamas Immigration Minis-

ter Shane Gibson has resigned amid speculation that Anna Nicole Smith had received special treatment when applying for permanent residency.

(Actually, it seemed to us as if he received the special treatment.)

"To the extent that my beloved country has in any way suffered . . . I want to apologize to the Bahamian people as a whole," Gibson said Sunday night.

However, Gibson, who fast-tracked Smith's application for residency, denied any wrongdoing and said he did not have a sexual relationship with that woman . . . Miss Smith. *

Daily News wire services contributed to this report.

Send e-mail to gensleh@phillynews.com