Jenice Armstrong | Bebashi need$ help

IRENE'S LIFE was hectic. Not only was the 40-something divorcee juggling college classes, but she also was working, caring for elderly parents, tending to a daughter with a disability and trying to maintain a romantic relationship.

Then, during a hospital visit for ulcers, Irene (not her real name) got the startling news that she also was HIV-positive. The shell-shocked Logan resident didn't tell anyone. Not the girlfriend who visited her in the hospital that dreary day. Not her loving but ailing parents. Not the grown daughter away in the military. For weeks, Irene kept the frightening diagnosis to herself as she agonized over the possibility of not living long enough to see her 11-year-old daughter graduate.

Stress consumed her. That's when she reached out to Bebashi (Blacks Educating Blacks About Sexual Health Issues), which she knew provided testing and HIV/AIDS support services. A Bebashi caseworker counseled her and steered her toward a support group of other HIV-positive women that helped calm her and made her realize that her life wasn't over. She hadn't suddenly become a fatal disease. Instead, she was just a person with a disease.

"They said to keep your life normal," recalled Irene, who has since attended a rodeo with her daughter and begun receiving free meals from the AIDS feeding organization Manna.

Workers at Bebashi also steered Irene into classes in which she could learn more about HIV/AIDS, and gave her clothing money for her rapidly growing child. That's the kind of assistance that this small nonprofit agency on Spring Garden Street does quietly every single day, without fanfare, which it sure could use since money is a constant problem.

Recently, the agency found itself in another financial tailspin after learning from the Philadelphia Department of Public Health that its funding was to be cut by $65,000 because of a cutback in federal funds earmarked for minority AIDS initiatives. That would have meant the loss of Bebashi's only on-site therapist and funding for support groups, essential services for clients such as Irene, who told me that her group was the only place she could unload about her situation.

Executive directory Gary J. Bell responded by e-mailing an SOS to 500 people, imploring each to donate at least $25 to help the agency out of the crisis.

"The response was underwhelming," Bell said yesterday. "I got three checks. One was for $20."

He had all but given up on getting individual donations and had last week begun canvassing local clergy when he got informal notification that other federal funds - this time from the Ryan White Care Act - could be used to continue paying the therapist and underwriting the support group.

"Happy ending? In a way, I could say that," Bell said. "This crisis has been averted. But the other struggle to raise funds remains. We are literally overwhelmed by people coming in to get tested . . . it's really staggering how many new cases [there are]."

As I've reported before - and will continue to write about - African-Americans are being walloped disproportionately hard by AIDS. Roughly, 50 percent of all new HIV/AIDS cases are among blacks, and AIDS is the leading cause of death for African-American women between the ages of 25 and 34. Agencies such as Bebashi do tremendous work at the grassroots level with testing and referrals, food distribution, even handing out SEPTA tokens. But the struggle for resources is constant.

"I beg all the time," said a weary-sounding Bell. "I understand that many of us live check to check . . . but many of us don't feel responsible for helping nonprofits."

Meanwhile, Irene, who broke off her engagement for unrelated reasons, is learning to cope with her disease, despite a mental-health breakdown last summer that left her hospitalized for a few days. When she learned about Bebashi's latest money woes, she was sad, remembering how they had helped her. Bebashi needs people to meet with newly diagnosed HIV-positive clients, she said, "because you can't think straight."

"I was by myself," Irene said. *

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