Late night texts lead to late night sex-Is that all there is?

Q: Me and this guy have been talking to each other for about a month, but he only texts me real late at night. My friends say I shouldn't answer but after I get woken up like that it's real hard for me to go back to sleep so I wind up texting him back and sometimes he comes over, which always leads to sex. My friends say he's just using me. What do you think?

Mia: I'm with your friends.

Steve: Mia's probably right and the only way to resolve it is to ask him directly who else is he dating and what kind of relationship does he see with you. I'm guessing he wants to be a sex friend and nothing more. Now, you're allowed to use him that way too if that's what you need, but if you want something better - like a friend who doesn't only ask for sex - I'd dump the guy.

Q: I'm in my late 40s dating a man who is obsessed with railroads. When we go on vacation, it's always railroad oriented. I'm not very interested so I go to museums and other events when we are on vacation together. We've always driven before, but now he wants to take a train to New Orleans! It would take almost two days to get there and we'd be in a roomette. Lord knows if I'd sleep. Should I look for a guy who likes things I like?

Steve: If the number one thing you want from a guy is that he shares your hobbies, then that's the right move. But you may find good hobby sharing isn't nearly as important as honesty and love sharing. I bet your boyfriend would compromise on vacation locations. Have a discussion. And make sure you listen to Louis Jordan's "Choo Choo Ch'Boogie" here: http://bit.ly/1EocPXD.

Mia: I feel your pain. Trains bore the heck out of me. But my husband loves them. The last thing I would want to do is stomp on what he enjoys. So, when we were in York, England, at the National Railway Museum, I made a point of bringing along a great book. That plus the wine in the cafe while he wandered around staring at all the trains was all I needed. We both walked away happy that day. The moral is you've got to compromise or else find a new man.

Reader feedback about a letter from earlier this year from a wife who didn't want her husband driving a female colleague to her colonoscopy appointment:

Mia, I recently had a colonoscopy. The health provider would not allow me to be "dropped" off by a friend or coworker, let alone a ride-sharing service for the procedure. It was mandatory that someone was with me and they had to stay the entire time while I was having the procedure. I do think his spouse is right to be concerned perhaps she could go with her husband.

Between them, Steve and Mia have logged more than a few decades in the single-and-dating world. They're also wise to the ways of married life. They don't always agree, but they have plenty of

answers. Contact them at S&M c/o Daily News, 801 Market St., Philadelphia, PA 19107 or steveandmia@phillynews.com.