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Stu Bykofsky: Why Philadelphians hide from tough choices

THE NATIVES are restless, unhappy and indecisive in Philadelphia. We are unhappy about a lot of things - dirty streets, lousy schools, spotty mass transit, street shootings, bad cops, dumb judges, the Flyers' flop - but the current 800-pound gorilla is taxes.

THE NATIVES are restless, unhappy and indecisive in Philadelphia.

We are unhappy about a lot of things - dirty streets, lousy schools, spotty mass transit, street shootings, bad cops, dumb judges, the Flyers' flop - but the current 800-pound gorilla is taxes.

We don't wanna pay higher taxes.

No! to higher real-estate taxes. No! to higher sales taxes. No! to higher wage taxes.

A recent poll by the nonpartisan Pew Philadelphia Research Initiative said that 86 percent of us oppose real-estate taxes, 68 percent hate wage taxes, 53 percent snub sales taxes - but only 42 percent oppose more business taxes. (That means that few of those polled own their own business.)

OK. If Philadelphians don't want to pay more in taxes, and the city's facing a $1.4 billion shortfall, we'll take cuts in city services, right?

Not in this Wonderland, Alice.

A subtitle of the Pew poll says, "Residents seem unwilling to confront tough choices."

A master of understatement.

Mayor Nutter - poor guy - has a painful Plan A and a worse Plan B. We like neither. In perpetual denial, we prefer to sit in a dark closet, rocking back and forth and reminiscing about the "good old days" under Jim Tate.

When the mayor asked Council to pick Plan A or Plan B, they stuck their fingers in their ears and danced around in circles, singing, "La la la la de la de la de."

In a letter to the Daily News, 13 of the 17 said: "Council has taken absolutely no position on this choice . . ."

Seized by sudden seriousness of purpose, Council demanded "answers" from the administration to some questions, which includes hidden costs, staffing levels and "how much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"

Getting answers from the administration requires more patience than playing rock-paper-scissors with a Blue Point crab.

When it comes to answers, most of Council can't explain why they still have city-issued cars, haven't taken a voluntary (symbolic) pay cut and continue to slither into a DROP program that wasn't designed for them.

Finally, on Tuesday, Council said it preferred a sales-tax hike.

Council usually handles reality no better than we citizens who pretend that this is a bad dream and we'll be awakened by Prince Charming's kiss.

If it's not denial that's buried in the psyches of Philadelphians (and I'm avoiding the too-easy sports metaphor here), what is it? What makes us believe that we can not only eat our cake and have it, too - but that we can have it with ice cream?

What birthed the paradoxical notion that we can get more from government and simultaneously pay less for it?

Where could we get such an insane idea?

Maybe from political parties.

Democrats tell citizens, "Vote for us and we'll take care of it for you."

This decouples voters from reality. Don't worry, be happy.

Republicans blame the government itself: "Let us starve the beast for you." That encourages civic disengagement.

It's simple: If we want a lot of government grease, as they have in Europe and elsewhere, we must pay for it. If we don't want to pay a lot, we must ask for less.

Democrats seem like an Italian mom who encourages the kids to eat some more, no thought given to calories, fat or obesity.

Republicans are like the stern dad who demands the kids clean up their room and do the chores before they can go out to play.

Each of us has to leave the dark closet, think hard about what kind of city we want, then accept the costs, whether in higher taxes or fewer services.

I'll go first. I'm for temporary and minor increases in all taxes - real estate, wage, sales and business privilege - to spread around the pain. *

E-mail stubyko@phillynews.com or call 215-854-5977. For recent columns:

http://go.philly.com/byko.