I ENVY FRANCIS Fabey, Charles Brennan and Mitchell J. Yanak.
I wish I were as vital to my organization as they are, apparently, to the city of Philadelphia. Their talents seem to be unique.
All three were former city workers, all signed up for the Deferred Retirement Option Program, the notorious DROP, all received a pot o' cash after retirement - and all have been rehired by the city.
Slithering through a worm hole created by elected officials, they feathered their own nests with DROP and now they are back, pulling down six-figure salaries.
They are double-dipping with the approval and the connivance of Mayor Kenney, who as a Councilman sought to end DROP. (It was finally ended - for elected officials for whom it was never intended - by the state in 2009.)
As reported by the Inquirer, Fabey retired from the Department of Parks and Recreation last December with a $328,295 DROP payment. His salary had been $101,579. Days later he was rehired as an assistant managing director for $102,000 a year.
Brennan left the Police Department in 2006 on a $103,643 salary, and got a $337,695 DROP payout. He was rehired in January for $165,000 as the city's chief information officer.
In 2003, Yanak retired from the Police Department with a $86,603 salary and took a $99,537 DROP bonus with him. He was rehired this week, for $142,800, as deputy chief information officer for public safety. Retirement not only agreed with him, it greatly inflated his salary.
Beeyoudeeful.
Despite Kenney's opposition to DROP, he hired Brennan and Yanak. Fabey was hired by Mayor Nutter who also opposed DROP. Supposedly.
There is one caveat here. Unlike the elected hogs at the trough - former Council members Joan Krajewski, Frank Rizzo Jr. and Marian Tasco, plus City Commissioner Marge Tartaglione, this trio did not try to return to the very same jobs they left.
That's a difference without a distinction because entering DROP requires an "irrevocable commitment" to retire from city employment. "The code does not mention a specific job," Pension Board Executive Director Fran Bielli tells me.
As I reported earlier this year, DROP has cost our cash-strapped city about $1.2 billion. When launched in 1999, it was supposed to be revenue-neutral. It wasn't.
By 2010, it had cost the city an extra $258 million, according to a city-authorized Boston College analysis released that year. That figure has only risen since then.
DROP was intended to retain valuable employees by offering them a financial incentive to stay, inducing slackers to leave, and also providing planners with a reliable retirement schedule.
The road to hell, as they say, is paved with good intentions.
So much for the finances. Let's look at the rationale from Kenney's PR people.
The men should not be faulted for taking advantage of an available perk, said one.
I would ask, would you fault someone who found a wallet on a bus and just kept it? That's not stealing, is it?
Fault lies with Nutter and Kenney for approving the hires. Their opposition to DROP seems hollow when, by hiring these guys, they encourage it.
In this vast city of 1.5 million people, these were the only three people qualified for these jobs? Philadelphia has a 5.4 percent unemployment rate and we have to dredge people out of retirement?
When they retired they didn't "intend" to abuse DROP, said another mayoral flak. But when an opportunity arose, they jumped.
It reminds me of a line written by Emily Dickinson: "Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door."
Earlier this year, I asked all 17 City Council members if they would be willing to write legislation ending DROP, except for police and firefighters who don't get Social Security.
Only two - David Oh and Allan Domb - said they would be willing to take a look at that.
A majority of Council didn't reply, being more interested in scratching the backs of city workers than looking out for you.
If you're PO'd, call your Council person. They don't listen to me.
215-854-5977 @StuBykofsky
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