Q: In 1978, I shared a platonic beer with a young woman whom I'll call "J." Our friendship was kind of brother-and-sister. Recently, we ran into one another at a Rod Stewart concert. This platonic relationship has gotten very, very close to the next level and it feels so weird on both ends. Do we proceed to enter into a place where there is no turning back or do we keep our incredible platonic friendship? P.S. Her lips are softer than any lips I've ever kissed.
Steve: Platonic? I have platonic female friends, but I have no clue how soft their lips are. You are officially kicked out of the platonic club. There is no turning back.
Mia: You have no choice. You have to proceed. It's hard to find people whom you connect with both as platonic friends and as potential lovers. Call that woman and ask her out. No need to spell out what all you have in mind. Just take her to some romantic place and let the sparks continue. You won't lose your friendship unless you're a jerk or she's one. Something tells me that you and her may be the real deal. Don't be timid. Take a chance and see what happens.
Q: I got really drunk and hooked up with a guy I met at a party. Some of what happened was a blur, but what I can remember of our time together was really good. Now, I can't stop thinking about him. I keep hoping he'll look me up on Facebook. He knows my name. But it's been a whole week and I haven't heard anything. Should I get my girlfriend to call a mutual friend to see if he's interested? Or should I let it go?
Mia: Don't bother trying to contact this guy. If he were interested, he'd track you down. There's a reason he's a ghost. But I'll bet that you're not all that interested in him either. You're feeling a little ashamed of yourself and trying to make something out of basically nothing.
But hearing it from me or Steve probably won't make you stop obsessing. So go ahead and reach out to him on Facebook. If you don't hear back, leave him alone. Just move on and learn from the experience.
The next time you see a cute guy at a party, flirt a little but keep your pants on. Having random hookups with strangers opens you up to a whole lot of hurt.
STEVE: Lie down with dog, wake up with fleas. Depending on how blurry things got, you should probably get checked out for STDs. n