Steve and Mia | His main squeeze has a hands-off hug policy

Steve is a 50-something married man who's been around the block. Mia is a 20-something single immersed in the Center City dating scene. They may not agree, but they have plenty of answers. If you'd like an answer to your romantic troubles, e-mail them at S&M@phillynews.com or write: S&M c/o Daily News, Box 7788, Philadelphia, PA 19101.

Q: I have a friend whose relationship recently hit a snag. His girlfriend is the type who believes in hugging everyone she meets. This didn't matter to him, though he told her that from time to time girls might want to hug him, too. She said this wouldn't be a problem as long as he didn't make a fool out of her. In November, they were at a restaurant and a former female supervisor, sitting a few tables away, walked over. They spoke and she asked him, wasn't he going to give her a hug? So he gave her one. His girlfriend jumped up from the table and left the restaurant. When he got outside, she told him to take her home. She has not spoken to him since. He has called twice, got voicemail and e-mailed twice with no answer. If she isn't seeing him or talking to him, what does one do?

Steve: I think he should look for a new girlfriend. Imagine if his former co-worker had kissed him on the cheek. His girlfriend might have thrown her plate at him. She overreacted to an innocent situation and ought to apologize.

Mia: Talk about a drama queen. Hugging and kissing friends should not be such a big issue. Look at the French. They're always kissing and nobody cares. She should calm down and take him back.

Q: I am a 47-year-old man who has been dating a 45-year-old woman for the past three years. She has three children, I have two. She wants an exclusive relationship but will not see me on weekends when she has her kids. She also wants time to be with her girlfriends then. So I only see her once or twice a month, although we speak almost every night on the phone. Is this a relationship?

Mia: Of course, it's a relationship. The question is: Is it a good relationship? Sounds like daily phone calls and occasional meetings aren't enough for you. I would talk to your girlfriend about what you want. See if there is a way to find some middle ground.

Steve: I believe the clinical term for this kind of relationship is "half-a--ed" or H.A. If you want an H.A. relationship, do nothing. If you want something more, tell her what you need. Her response will make your follow-up move clear.

Q: I'm eight months pregnant with my first child. It's the first grandkid on either side of the family, so both my parents and my husband's parents are very excited. Here's the thing: All of them are lobbying to be in the hospital room with me when I give birth. I don't want anyone but my husband there. How do I let them down nicely?

Mia: You could be very honest and tell them you don't want four extra people watching as you force a human from your loins. (OUCH!) Or you could lie and claim that the hospital restricts how many people are allowed in the room.

Steve: Really, other than your husband, your accountant and your health insurance provider, there's no need for more people in the birth room. Just kidding! You tell your parents - and have your husband tell his - that they can wait outside.

Q: My son is getting married in six months, but I'm suffering from some "mother of the groom" angst. My husband and I live near the couple, as do the bride's parents, but I haven't been consulted or even informed about many of the wedding plans. When I try to ask my son, he just says his girlfriend and her mom are doing everything and I should stay out of it. Is there a way for me to become a little more involved?

Steve: Are you paying for it? If not, chill. Traditionally the bride's family foots the bill. That being the case, you should be very happy. Ask your son to tell you the time and location of the events and then butt out.

Mia: Ah, a delicate situation. Why don't you suggest a lunch with the bride and her mom so you can have some girl time? Maybe then you could offer to help with some of the wedding planning. I'm sure there's a task you could get involved in. They're probably just so busy they didn't think about it. *