Tattle | Joe Francis isn't wild about the clink

J

OE FRANCIS

IS going wild.

Stuck in a leaky, rundown Florida prison for the last 32 days on contempt charges, the entrepreneurial sleazebag who made a fortune persuading drunken college girls to flash their high beams now spends his days cringing at the harsh stares of fellow inmates.

And crying. Lots of crying. In fact, sources tell TMZ.com that Francis has cried every single day behind bars.

"I don't think I can handle this on a long-term thing - I'm not a criminal," the shackled porn king complained during a psychiatric evaluation ordered by his defense team earlier this month and released on The Smoking Gun yesterday.

Francis, who claimed to be housed with "all murderers," will face federal tax evasion charges in Nevada once he finishes his 45-day stint at Bay County Prison in Panama City.

The shrink diagnosed the 34-year-old "Girls Gone Wild" video magnate as "clinically stable" but not without serious issues. Francis is taking anti-anxiety drugs, the report on thesmokinggun.com states.

"Continued confinement in his current status would be psychiatrically unproductive," opined Dr. Ronald Markman.

Wonder how psychiatrically unproductive it is to be a 20-year-old coed who sobers up to realize her drunken prank will be in perpetual rewind on some pervy old goat's TV screen.

Francis also is scheduled for a hearing tomorrow, TMZ.com says, on charges he used minors for sexual performances.

Boo, hoo, Joe.

Perhaps Francis needs to sharpen his game a la Paris Hilton. Just the thought of 45 days in the slammer has her in tears, TMZ.com reports, but she's putting her distress to practical use.

Perhaps Francis needs to sharpen his game a la . Just the thought of 45 days in the slammer has her in tears, TMZ.com reports, but she's putting her distress to practical use.

The trial in a $10 million civil lawsuit diamond heiress Zeta Graff filed against Hilton for spreading "vicious lies" about her has been postponed until August. It was supposed to start May 21.

Paris' psychiatrist Dr. Charles Sophy told the court she's incapable of "any meaningful participation" in the trial because she is "emotionally distraught and traumatized" about going to jail for violating probation related to a DUI.

Seems that Shooter Jennings has lived up to his name, reports the Daily News' Dan Gross. The country singer and actress Drea de Matteo ("The Sopranos," "Joey") are expecting their first child, according to the New York Post's Page Six.

Seems that has lived up to his name, reports the ' . The country singer and actress ("The Sopranos," "Joey") are expecting their first child, according to the 's Page Six.

Neither de Matteo's reps nor reps for Jennings, son of country music stars Waylon Jennings and Jessi Coulter, confirmed the pregnancy, the Post reported.

Will there ever come a time when neither Paris Hilton nor Anna Nicole Smith's names are proclaimed across the land?

Will there ever come a time when neither nor 's names are proclaimed across the land?

Maybe. But not yet.

A will has been filed for the late one-woman three-ring media circus by Howard K. Stern, her attorney and failed baby daddy. TMZ.com describes the document, filed in Los Angeles Superior Court, as "somewhat confusing."

Now there's a shocker.

Larry Birkhead, DNA-confirmed papa of Smith's daughter Dannielynn, is not a beneficiary but has been added to the will, TMZ says, because he's seeking to become the baby's guardian.

"The CBS Evening News with Katie Couric" will be in Philadelphia next Tuesday to help CBS 3 and The CW celebrate their new high-definition digs at 16th and Spring Garden streets.

"The CBS Evening News with " will be in Philadelphia next Tuesday to help CBS 3 and The CW celebrate their new high-definition digs at 16th and Spring Garden streets.

But first, the news show will broadcast live from an unnamed "downtown location," a press release said.

What, a new high-def studio's not good enough?

Daily News classical-music critic Tom Di Nardo reports that Philadelphia Orchestra violinist Zachary DePue, 27, will become concertmaster of the Indianapolis Symphony Orchestra.

classical-music critic reports that Philadelphia Orchestra violinist , 27, will become concertmaster of the Indianapolis Symphony Orchestra.

A member of the Philly orchestra since the 2002-2003 season, DePue has been on leave this season while touring with his wildly popular trio, Time For Three.

"Zachary is an incredibly talented musician who will bring new energy and vitality to our orchestra," said Indianapolis' music director Mario Venzago.

DePue, 27, and his violinist brother Jason, natives of Bowling Green, Ohio, attended Curtis Institute and joined the Fabulous Philadelphians after graduation. *

Daily News wire services contributed to this report.

Howard Gensler is on vacation.