Sideshow | For discriminating rednecks

Next time you're in Pawnee City, Neb., make sure to visit SchillingBridge Winery & MicroBrewery. The brewery -

and

winery (it's a place intent on "Bridging the gap between the Wine Connoisseur and the Beer Enthusiast," the company Web site says) - is located in the small town where Mr. Git-R-Done himself, the bilious king of trailer-trash comedy,

Larry the Cable Guy

(né

Daniel Lawrence Whitney

), grew up.

On Saturday, the beerwinery paid homage to Pawnee City's proudest son with a real nice honor: It has introduced a new brew called Git-R-Done, after the catch phrase that's made the comic a latter-day Ernest P. Worrell. (Of course, Larry's films, especially Delta Farce, are way sophisticateder than those Ernest Goes to Wherever flicks.)

SchillingBridge owner Mike Schilling said Git-R-Done beer will capture not only the sophisticated palate, but the hearts of Larry's fan base.

"Rednecks love quality, too," he said.

Guess she let him levitate her after the first date. That'd be Hollywood sweets

Cameron Diaz

, who has been hot 'n' heavy with quasi-Goth illusionist and

Mindfreak

star

Criss

Angel

(born

Christopher Sarantakos

).

That's what Mrs. Angel - Joanne Sarantakos - claims in her divorce filing, which charges magic boy with mental cruelty and abandonment. She also claims Criss never shared the millions he made, and pretended he was single to further his career. "He really played the Mindfreak game on her," Mrs. A's bro Michael Winkhart told Newsday.

Mrs. A's lawyer on Friday told a Nassau County (N.Y.) court judge, "We're naming Cameron Diaz as [Criss Angel's] lover." Fact, Mrs. A is totally hot 'n' bothered about securing a date with Cam: "We will subpoena her as soon as she comes back to New York."

Cameron's rep has denied an affair. Criss says the two are just "good friends." And yet, he dedicated his June 5 stunt - escaping from a box hanging above Times Square - to her.

Meanwhile, TV newsmag

The Insider

reports, in a segment scheduled to air last night, that Cameron's rep

Brad Caferelli

says Cam and Criss never went beyond four dates. (Could the real Criss ever measure up to his mindfreak?)

Wanted: Slim, ageless SWM, preferably with dark hair, a Eurotrash accent, a cadaverously wan complexion, and a thirst for the finer things in life - especially blood straight from the (carotid) vine.

So the classified in the Transylvania Hematologist might have read.

Yep, Goth investors, here's a chance of a lifetime: Archduke Dominic Habsburg wants to give you his birthright, his castle and keep, the Bran Castle.

That is, if you have $100+ mil to burn.

Better known as Dracula's Castle, the 14th-century domicile - which has become a major tourist attraction in Romania because of its association with Prince Vlad the Impaler, the inspiration for Bram Stoker's Dracula - was put up for sale yesterday by U.S.-based investment company Baytree Capital, which predicts the hovel will fetch $135 mil.

But a warning, lest you want to turn the place into a frat house or asylum for burnt-out bauhaus and Joy Division fans: The Archduke will only sell to the buyer "who will treat the property and its history with appropriate respect."

Delightful, if mildly gangly

Top Chef

host

Padma Lakshmi

(sorry, but nobody can hold a candle to the statuesque

Gail Simmons

) is leaving her husband of three years, the internationally renowned - and always well-seasoned - author and fatwa survivor (talk about the mother of all reality shows,

Fatwah Survivor

)

Salman Rushdie

.

In 1989, Ayatollah Seyyed Ruhollah Mustafavi Khomeini of Iran issued an order for Rushdie's life over his controversial novel, The Satanic Verses. (The order has since been rescinded.)

Rushie's PR rep's statement is verbal honey: "Salman Rushdie has agreed to divorce his wife, Padma Lakshmi, because of her desire to end their marriage." (Huh?)

Salman, who at 60 is only 24 years Padma's senior, has had three previous wives - and divorces. He and Padma wed in '04, and have no kids.

Prince Charles

' baby bro,

Prince Edward

, and his wife,

Sophie

, who take tea as the

Earl and Countess of Wessex

, are expecting their second child, it was announced yesterday.

"The earl and the countess are both thrilled and excited," a rep for the earl said, while a statement from Buckingham Palace said Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip are "delighted with the news" and noted that the baby, who'll join sis Lady Louise, will be their eighth grandchild.

Why has

Kevin Federline

refused to sign divorce papers gifted him by

Britney Spears

?

Is he so in love with her, he can't let go?

Is he a talentless hack out to squeeze $ and more $$$ from his celebrated, artistic wife?

Or, is he concerned that Brit's heavy metal-level partying will harm the couple's sons, Sean Preston and Jayden James?

Shocking, perhaps, but the consensus is on No. 3. TMZ.com says K wants assurances Brit is stable enough to handle joint custody.

In a report set to air last night, TV show

Entertainment Tonight

says it "confirmed today, Monday, July 2, 2007, that

Eva Longoria

and her fiancé

Tony Parker

received gorgeous [wedding] gifts, from Eva's friend,

Mario Lopez

." To wit:

One 18-carat white gold bracelet with 102 round diamonds that weigh in at 2.03 carats

One 1.27-carat tie pin

The greatest gift: Lopez handpicked it all.

(But did he hand-make the card?)

The wedding is on Saturday near Paris and will be guested by Jamie Foxx and Catherine Zeta-Jones and her hub Michael Douglas (who will doubtless proceed to sue a glossy or two for publishing photos of them at the wedding).