Question:

Guy and Girl date for a year and a half, live together for a year. Girl screws up, loses Boy's trust, Girl moves out, but Boy and Girl still date, albeit in an "open relationship," much to Girl's dismay.

Girl knows she did wrong, and tries to go with the "open relationship" because she wants to be with Boy, but is finding the "open" part hard to deal with. How does Girl comes to terms with the situation and enjoy the "open relationship"?

Answer:

Girl realizes that no matter how serious her screw-up, she isn't going to fix it by debasing herself.

If you can't abide the new terms, then decline to live by them. Tell him you love him, want him, regret hurting him, and will be happy to see him, when and if he stops taking sadistic pleasure in exacting revenge for his pain.

Q:

My friend is on anti-anxiety meds and thinks I should be too. The only reason she's stopped urging me to try them is that I've asked her to.

I do have bouts of depression and anxiety attacks, but my therapist says I'm making progress. Neither he nor I believe in medication. Should I listen to my friend, or my therapist?

A:

The top three things that shouldn't determine your medication use:

3. Whether an advice columnist advises them.

2. Whether your friends are on them.

1. Whether a clinician has an ax to grind.

I can't say you aren't getting the proper care; it's possible you are. I also can't speak for anyone but myself.

However, here's what I want my health-care providers to believe in: giving me the best care available. For some people, that won't involve medication, but for some it will. Doctors and therapists earn their credentials through training and expertise, but they are also human. Find one without a bias, please, and get a second opinion.

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