So what kind of sleaze, the world might ask, would shatter the innocence of a 16-year-old Southern girl he met in church (

in church

!) by seducing her - while, no doubt, professing his undying love - only to leave her high and dry when she got pregnant? Who destroyed

Jamie Lynn Spears

' life?

But by all reports, Casey Aldridge, a strapping, 6-foot-1 blond buck of 18 or 19 who has been seeing JLS for 2½ years, is anything but a sleaze. And he'd be the last person to abandon his girl.

An anon source "close" to the Spearses tells People mag that Casey always "took amazing care of Jamie Lynn," by protecting the Zoey 101 star from the darker side of life in Tinseltown. The source said Jamie Lynn's parents, dad James and mom Lynne, "adore Casey" and that the young man, who wants to "make something of himself" by going to college, is "a stand-up guy" who "will take care of the baby." But who really knows?Gest in London hospital

David Gest, 54, the super-hot studmeister who once brought sweetness and light to Liza Minnelli as her husband, was taken to a London hospital yesterday after complaining of severe chest pains and difficulty breathing, reports the BBC and E!Online.

"David is stable," said a hospital rep who did not specify what ails Gest. "We are awaiting a further update from doctors," he said.

Gest currently lives in Britain, where he is celebrated as a great trash-culture artist: His new reality show, This Is David Gest, is a big hit there. Earlier this year, he published his memoirs, Simply the Gest. And in February, he will debut the autobiographical musical, David Gest Is Nuts . . . My Life as a Musical on the London stage.

Jamie Lynn Spears fallout

Are

Britney Spears

and her kin turning into the Ent. Industry's version of

the Kennedys

- a clan of superbly talented and passionate men and women who are beset by (

Shakespearean

) tragedy upon

(Sophoclean

) tragedy?

A day after news broke that Brit's 16-year-old lil' sis, Jamie Lynn Spears, is no virgin, her poor mum, Lynne Spears, has to face a new indignity: People mag says publisher Thomas Nelson, which prints Bibles, Bible study guides and inspirational books, has yanked Lynne's new book. For now. ("The book is delayed indefinitely . . . not canceled," a Nelson rep promised People.)

Wags suggest the tome, Pop Culture Mom: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World, which was due out on Mothers' Day, would be an embarrassment, since it's supposed to be a guide to good parenting that draws from religious precepts.

R. Kelly misses court

A Chicago court yesterday issued a warrant for accused child pornographer

R. Kelly

after he failed to show up for a court date.

A lawyer for the Trapped in the Closet singer tells TMZ.com that Kelly was stuck in Utah when his tour bus was "detained because of some snow." He promised that Kell would be in court first thing this morning.

Kelly's charges stem from '02, when cops found a video that allegedly shows the singer having sex with a 14-year-old girl.

The Queen to slim down

Only in America: Look better, feel better, eat better

and

earn a living doing so! Just ask the wondrous

Hairspray

star

Queen Latifah

, who has signed to be the next poster girl for weight loss chain Jenny Craig.

The Queen will be following in the stretch pants of Kirstie Alley and Valerie Bertinelli.

Jenny Craig's rep tells People mag that the Queen will be at the epicenter of a "very different campaign, focused on a healthier lifestyle, not on getting onto a specific dress size."

Groban's Christmas cheer

Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel/ Born is a triple platinum record

. . .

That'd be Josh Groban's Noël, which has spent four straight weeks at No. 1 on the Billboard album charts.

The CD, which sold 669,000 copies this week, has a total sales of 2.77 mil, which makes it the best-selling record of 2007.

According to figures from Nielsen SoundScan, Noël handily beat out the previous best seller, the High School Musical 2 soundtrack, which has shifted 2.7 mil units.

Meanwhile, Alicia Keys stays at No. 2 for a second week with As I Am, which sold 292,000, copies. And the Eagles' Long Road Out of Eden stays at No. 3, with 241,000 units.

Chemical Brothers babe with babe

In happier pregnancy news, British singer

Lily Allen

, 22, says she and her beau,

Chemical Brothers

' tripadelic e-music genius

Ed Simons

, 37, are expecting their first child.

In an interview with Harper's Bazaar, the otherwise lovely Lily used the awful stock phrase, "I definitely have got my eye on the prize," to explain her place in life. Her prize? "Having kids and getting married and cooking dinner and doing homework with my children."

'Gypsy' on Broadway

According to Broadway World and Broadway.com,

Patti LuPone

will play Rose in director

Arthur Laurents

' staging of

Gypsy

at Broadway's St. James Theatre. Previews begin March 3, and the show will open on March 27.

SAG nominations

Be excited:

Jeanne Tripplehorn

,

Terrence Howard

and Screen Actors Guild president

Alan Rosenberg

are due to announce the nominees for the annual SAG awards this morning.

'Miss America': Jan. 26 on TLC

Yesterday's column erroneously reported the date that cable channel TLC will present its live telecast of the Miss America pageant. The correct date is Jan. 26.

Contact "SideShow" at sideshow@phillynews.com.
This column contains information from Inquirer wire services.