Ask Amy: Wondering how to judge a sex offender

Dear Amy:

I know a person who has been convicted of a crime that involved a minor. This crime has placed him on the Web site of sex offenders.

I have been told that this fellow offended only once, many years previous to his arrest, and that the event was not an indication of pernicious pedophilia.

Because of the conviction, this fellow has lost his job; his wife used it to gain sole custody of his children; and he has had restrictions placed on his "new" life.

As it is something I cannot discuss with just anybody, I need for you to give me some perspective on this.

I am not sure if I should view this person as a terrible human being; if he is someone I should avoid at all costs; or if he is a person who made a mistake and needs a second chance.

I see him sometimes in my work and wonder how I should act around him.

Dear Wondering:

You might be able to confirm what you've heard or learn more about the nature of his crime by checking the National Sex Offender Public Registry Web site at

» READ MORE: www.nsopr.gov

. The Web site is operated by the Department of Justice and has state-by-state information on sex offenders.

My view is that unless you plan to become romantically involved or develop some other sort of intimate friendship with him, you should simply accept this as you see him - flawed and with a past you aren't in a position to assess.

Dear Amy:

I'm wondering whether "Sad Mom," who believes that her family is being shunned by their church because they can no longer give financially at their previous level, has talked with her pastor about the situation.

Sometimes form letters are mailed to all church members asking for increased giving, without taking individual circumstances into consideration.I can't imagine a church requiring people to keep giving as they had been if they've had a financial setback.

Finding a new church might still be the best decision, but Sad Mom should talk it over with her pastor before disappearing from the congregation.