Blush-less swimsuit buying - it does exist

People, I'm going to need to ask you to proceed in a calm and orderly manner after you read my news.

I want you all to work out a plan to spare northbound Broad Street and its Old York Road extension from gridlock and frenzied mobs.

Maybe everybody with a last name in the first half of the alphabet could embark for Cheltenham on even-numbered days and the rest could go on odd days.

Please consider it.

Here's the news: Tucked away in a shopping plaza off Old York Road in Elkins Park is a women's swimsuit store where shopping for a bathing suit will not be the worst experience of your year.

Even if your lumpen winter physique gives you a fright, the clerks at Shirley & Co. can probably counsel you into a flattering suit, provided you're a size 4 to 22.

"We have something for every size and shape," said saleswoman and mother hen Sandy Horwitz. "Really, we do. Hardly anybody ever walks out of here without a package. Some people even walk out saying it was pleasant."

Shirley's clerks specialize in kind and honest feedback. They know which pieces from their vast swimsuit inventory will elongate your stumpy torso or slim your jiggly thighs. They mix and match tops and bottoms. They hover just enough to pass judgment when you need it.

"Just open that door, and we're there for you," Horwitz said, tut-tutting the shameful inattention at some department stores these days. Shirley's customers often spend several hours getting this critical decision right, never once leaving the womb of the dressing room to venture, half-dressed, onto the cold, hard sales floor.

The predictable catch with Shirley's level of service is that Shirley's suits aren't cheap. They start around $80 and go up - in some cases way up. The latest styles from Karla Colletto cost about $225. The store's mid-range lines, like Gottex and Miraclesuit, are in the $150 neighborhood.

As we've all said before, every year, that's a heap of money for a little scrap of nylon and Lycra. Still, if you're gleefully contemplating how to pre-spend your '08 IRS recession rebate, you might add a properly fitted tankini to your list. *

Shirley & Co., 120 Yorktown Plaza, Elkins Park, 215-884-5401. Open 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday through Saturday and noon to 4 p.m. on Sundays.

- Becky Batcha