Ask Amy: Should she tell e-mail buddy she's a she?

Dear Amy:

I fell into a correspondence - first letters, now e-mails - with a fellow whose political views are diametrically opposed to my own. His initial missives were extremely critical to the point of being insulting. I nevertheless persevered, somewhat out of curiosity and also as a challenge to perhaps broaden his thinking.

I kept my remarks factual, non-confrontational and somewhat lighthearted, acknowledging when he made a point and including pleasantries along the way.

This has indeed served to soften his stance, and he signed his last e-mail with his first name.

Therein lies the problem. As a woman, I use my initials in my letters to editors and politicians, and my e-mail buddy believes he's corresponding with a man. I've not corrected this impression - I believe it might have ended our correspondence prematurely.

However, I'm feeling a bit devious at this point and, having gone this far, am at a loss as to how I 'fess up, or indeed whether I should?

Dear Challenged:

Normally, it wouldn't be necessary for you to reveal your gender to carry on a political correspondence, except that you have already deliberately withheld it. When you admit to deliberate deception, the burden is on you now to be truthful.

You could both inform and challenge your pen pal by writing, "It occurs to me that you may think you're corresponding with a man. Among our many differences is that I am, in fact, a woman."

If the fact that you are a woman cuts this conversation short, then so be it. You'd do better attempting to broaden someone else's horizons.