Tattle: FCC still obsessed with ‘NYPD Blue’ butt

HAS THE Federal Communications Commission got nothing better to do? It's

still

going after "NYPD Blue."

The FCC has rejected an appeal by ABC stations over its latest indecency ruling on a five-year-old episode of the three-years-defunct, award-winning police drama, which on Feb. 25, 2003, had a scene showing Charlotte Ross's nude behind.

Tattle didn't see the episode but Ross is an attractive actress so we can't believe that that brief exposure to her curvy rump would have caused any long-lasting damage to a viewer of "NYPD Blue," a show known for pushing the envelope and not, let's say, the family-oriented Super Bowl.

In fact, we daresay that the only people who recall Ross' bare bottom five years after its TV debut are the members of the FCC. It's not like anyone else is discussing the traumatic night that ABC stations in the midwest showed Charlotte's tush at 9 p.m.

And what is the fine for this outrage?

Forty ABC affiliates who aired the episode before the magical 10 o'clock hour when butts become more acceptable, will have to pay $27,500 each. That's about $1.2 million. Certainly a good chunk of change for, literally, a piece of a--.

But not everyone has to get out the checkbook. KTKA in Topeka, Kan., and KFBB in Great Falls, Mont., have had their licenses renewed since the offending episode offended, so the FCC's statute of limitations has run out on them. Stations in Missouri, Wisconsin and Arkansas were not fined because the complaints about the episode didn't come from the locals.

In its ruling the FCC said that the depiction of Ross' bare backside constituted "explicit and graphic depictions of sexual organs," which sort of tells you all you need to know about the porn the folks at the FCC are watching in their off hours.

Tattbits

* A judge put the brakes on Britney Spears' driving-without-a-license case yesterday after her lawyers said they don't believe she is "qualified or capable of entering into a binding agreement" at this time.

The attorneys also don't believe she is capable of giving a deposition or signed declaration.

How about if we start with what she is capable of doing and move forward from there.

* After failing to come to a contract renewal with Jenny Craig, "Fat Actress" Kirstie Alley is starting her own diet line.

Alley told People that she wants "to create something new that will help millions of people end the seemingly never ending fatty-roller coaster ride."

A fatty-roller coaster ride? Is Kirstie opening a theme park with healthy snacks, lots of walking and wide seats?

* Owen Wilson is going back to work for the first time since his reported suicide attempt last summer.

And if anyone can cheer him up it will be that rambunctious dog named Marley.

Wilson and co-star Jennifer Aniston begin shooting March 10 on "Marley & Me," based on the bestseller by former Inquirer columnist John Grogan.

* The big reveal of the lost Marilyn Monroe photo we wrote about yesterday had about as much juice as the opening of Al Capone's vault.

Turns out the pic wasn't Marilyn 1960, it was Madonna 1992 - from her book "Sex."

The really scary part is that a Marilyn "expert" had authenticated the photo.

* Director Gavin Hood and star Hugh Jackman's cast for "Wolverine" is coming together, according to the Hollywood Reporter.

Liev Schreiber is the mutant Sabretooth, Danny Huston will play Stryker, the general who experimented on Wolverine with adamantium, Taylor Kitsch of "Friday Night Lights" is the Cajun card-thrower Gambit, will.i.am will play Wraith, the see-through mutant, and Lynn Collins will play Wolverine's gal, Kayla Silverfox.

Sure hope Wolverine doesn't scratch during sex.

* It would be even bigger than when Sacheen Littlefeather refused Marlon Brando's Oscar if "Sicko" director Michael Moore were to win for Best Documentary Sunday night and his Oscar was accepted by . . . Fidel Castro.

"I got some great news today because I was trying to figure out how I was going to get Castro into the Oscars and for me he resigns today so he can come to L.A. and go as my guest and perhaps give the acceptance speech," Moore told AP Television Tuesday night.

"As long as he keeps it under five hours. I'm telling you, that's got to be a ratings grabber. Can you imagine him? Showing up? If I could talk to [Oscar producer] Gil Cates and maybe get Castro in a dance number at the beginning of the show? Great."

Castro in a dance number would sure top anything at the Grammys.

* Life & Style Weekly reports that Lynne Spears has grounded daughter Jamie Lynn in a classic case of closing the barn door just a wee bit late.

The reason? When Lynne left for L.A. to be with Britney, who, as you probably are aware, has her own problems, she explicitly told Jamie Lynn not to go out in public with boyfriend and father-to-be Casey Aldridge.

But photos taken on Feb. 10 showed the young couple holding hands while running errands.

"Jamie Lynn broke the rules, pure and simple," says a Spears insider. "Her parents didn't even want her to see Casey, but they knew that would be a lost cause.

"So they told Jamie Lynn she could see him, but no sleepovers and no hanging out in public." So when Lynne returned home, the insider adds, "she totally reamed Jamie Lynn." *

Daily News wire services contributed to this report.

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