All sorts of Harry situations

TODAY, SAT TATT brings you two particularly narrow slices of the gossip pie: young, attractive British Harrys.

Drudge blows prince's cover

Prince Harry has developed an incredibly attractive scruffiness after 10 top-secret weeks in Afghanistan, where he has been serving as a forward air controller in the British army.

The 23-year-old is third in line for the throne and is an obvious target for anyone with a grudge against Britain. Harry himself admitted this before his deployment, saying in a public statement that he wouldn't want any soldier to have to sit next to "the bullet magnet."

The prince was allowed to go to Afghanistan after complicated machinations by the British army, including a deal brokered for a complete media blackout with the assurance that the British press would receive photos upon Harry's return in April. An earlier deployment to Iraq was killed because of excessive media coverage.

On Thursday, however, the Drudge Report broke the blackout, and British newspapers were quick to follow up with dozens of articles that they'd clearly been dying to write since December. And yesterday, Britain's Ministry of Defence issued a statement that Harry would be recalled to Britain immediately.

The prince has not been in contact with media since. However, in an interview with embedded reporters last week, Harry was happy finally being able to see combat, saying, "All my wishes have come true."

He also said, in an addendum that puts him even closer to SatTatt's heart, that he had not showered in four days.

Harry/Draco proponents, rejoice!

Oh, Daniel Radcliffe, only 18 years old and already stuck with a slightly creepy, Olsen Twins-esque aura of sex. As the physical embodiment of the character of Harry Potter, his is the face that the many (oh, so many!) authors of Harry Potter slash fiction are picturing when, often as not, they contrive yet another way for Harry and Draco/Hermione/Ron/Snape/all-of-the-above to experiment with their budding sexuality/wands.

In an obvious effort to distance himself from the lightning-bolt scar, Radcliffe last year took on the decidedly grown-up lead role in Peter Shaffer's "Equus," portraying a mentally ill teenager undergoing psychotherapy after blinding six horses. Although this worked in one sense, as critics applauded his performance, it may have gone against him in that most reviews focused on his extended (and completely nude) sex scene.

And when Radcliffe went up to accept Best Newcomer at the Theatergoers' Choice Awards for his performance in "Equus," presenter James Cordon laid a prolonged kiss bordering on a makeout session on the surprised young actor as the audience cheered. "It was a spontaneous gesture that was very funny," Radcliffe said.

In non-Harry news . . .

Michael Jackson joins Dustin Diamond (aka Screech) and thousands of nonfamous people as a victim of the mortgage meltdown. Neverland is set to be auctioned in mid-March for missed payments, and there's $153,910 in missed payments on his L.A. home. At least we can be reasonably confident that M.J. will not resort to Diamond's fundraising, uh, techniques.*