Time for a text etiquette

Click, click, click. Text messaging is spreading.

The coworker who once talked to you at office parties? You can hear her clicking in a corner, so concerned with keeping in contact that she's put herself out of touch. The nice young boy who sits in front of you at Mass? He's become a zombie, too. Clicking away on his iPhone, he may be present in body, but he's not actually there.

Look around you at any given moment in any public place - at a party, in a darkened theater, a classroom, a business meeting, or even in church - and you're bound to witness texting in action.

"I don't think people should be texting in situations where people deserve to be listened to," said etiquette expert Caroline Tiger, 33, of Center City. "People shouldn't have to be in a conversation or looking out at a group and see people with their heads bowed clicking away on their cell phone or BlackBerry.

"A lot of people are annoyed by it. It's something that we're only just beginning to figure out, how to deal with it."

With roughly 1 billion messages sent every day, text messaging is a phenomenon that's here to stay. This certainly isn't breaking news, and yet rules of etiquette haven't emerged for this medium. And so the question remains: Why the text-messaging craze, and where do we draw the line? And even if we figure out the rules, can we resist the temptation?

People like Jacqueline Cowder can't help themselves.

The 18-year-old Temple freshman admits to texting pretty much everywhere. She always has her phone in her hand, and if it beeps or vibrates, she reacts like Pavlov's dog - immediately, unconsciously, instinctively.

"If I look at my phone and have a message, I need to look at it," the biology major said. "Depending on what it says, I'll either respond or wait on it, but I have to look when I notice I have one."

It took a talking panda to put this clicking frenzy into perspective. Movie theaters have admonished patrons to turn off their cell phones so as to not ruin the movie experience for others. But in the last few months, major theater chains like AMC Loews are using the Jack Black-voiced Kung Fu Panda, due in theaters June 6, to assert a new initiative: "No cell phone, no talking, no texting. You don't think it makes a sound? It does. I hear it - click, click, click, click, click."

Several reasons are offered as to why people feel so free to indulge their texting compulsion, chief among them the idea that texting is not intrusive.

"People are under the illusion that other people don't notice," Tiger said. "They think they are wearing some sort of invisible cloak, but they're not."

Although discussion of the issue has begun, real research, at least in this country, is in its infancy. Other than jocular references to "CrackBerries" and a few articles, very little information on the topic exists. The scanty research that has been done focuses on the obsessive text messaging as an addictive disorder.

The Priory Clinic in West London made headlines four years ago when it began treating patients for text-message addiction. More recently, Tamyra Pierce, an associate communications professor at California State University-Fresno, conducted a small random survey that suggested a pattern of addictive behavior among young people concerning text messaging.

"Young people are using the cell phone excessively, and when we look at addiction we have to look at a lot of different criteria," Pierce said in an interview. "So, we look at not only how much time they spend text messaging, but how much they think about the next time . . . or if their usage is causing conflict in their everyday life.

"Texting is just like anything else. If I'm spending more time with something to the point that it's interfering with my life, then it's creating a bubble."

Ashley Palmer, an 18-year-old nursing major at Temple University, says she texts everywhere, even in class and church, "because [she] can get away with it.

"If I didn't have my phone, I would probably feel like I didn't have my pants on or something like that," Palmer said. "I just need it. When you check your pockets you need two things, your keys and your phone. It's become like my little friend."

Patrick M. Markey, a psychology professor at Villanova University, echoed Palmer's line of thinking.

"It's not addicting in the same way as something like alcohol is addicting, but it's certainly a preferred method of communication for some people," he said. "It's something that we simply do all the time, and at some instances we feel naked without" cell phones.

Some clickers said they could do without texting and only use it to make plans or when they're bored.

"Class is boring and it's hard to pay attention, so it offers a break from that," said Steve Wong, 20, a junior architectural engineering major at Drexel University. "I basically only do it when someone texts me first."

While such statements show that not everyone is obsessed with text messaging, Marianne Dainton, a professor of communication at La Salle University, said that they point to a character trait common to young texters.

"Younger generations have been raised with constant stimulation," she said. "Play dates, after-school activities. . . . Being alone is not a part of their skill set."

Although Dainton acknowledges the efficiency of texting, and says it can help to maintain relationships through assurances such as "I love you," she noted its drawbacks as well.

"There's a demand quality to it," she said. "When you receive a text message, there's an assumption you'll respond immediately, and if you don't, it may imbue a meaning that probably is not accurate."

Some believe that rules are beginning to emerge. Tiger said people realize it's not right to text during a funeral, church service or wedding - even without an admonishment from the minister. And, as the apparent trailblazers, movie theaters seem ready to enforce a no-texting policy. The bigger multiplexes have adopted the panda, while the smaller theaters and concert halls are taking matters into their own hands.

"If it's bothersome because the screen is so bright, we ask people to take it outside," said Ritz Five manager Ben Schuler. "You'd be surprised how bright a cell phone screen can be when you're sitting in a pitch-black theater. It can be very distracting."

Others think rules of etiquette will take some time to develop. Making a distinction between digital natives (mostly younger people in whom technology is ingrained) and digital immigrants (mostly older people who need to make great effort to learn), Dainton suggested that rules won't be truly established until the digital immigrants get involved.

"There are some older work professionals using them, and the early adopters get the latest technology just because it's really cool," she said. "But when it becomes totally mainstream, it will be different" - and rules will be established.

Tiger thinks the debate over rules is well under way, but she reminds that etiquette is never universally applied.

"Even though people know what's right and wrong, they will continue to violate the rules when they're really tempted," Tiger said. "But that's OK, because we can't all always be following the rules."

One thing at a time: Texting while conducting a conversation or listening to a speaker isn't cool. Even if you can manage two things at once, your nonverbal message indicates the other person isn't worthy of your attention.

Keep it light: Texting is informal. Bad news and serious conversation should be reserved for face-to-face talks or actual phone calls.

Curtail expectations: Many people expect immediate responses, but don't be surprised if one is not sent quickly.

Spll Corecly: Texting allows for some gr8 cheat wrds, but overdoing it can lead to confusion and extreme annoyance.

Source: Compiled from ideas expressed by Marianne Dainton and Caroline Tiger.

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