Sideshow: Underwood adds to liquid assets

Not content raking in the $$$ with her music,

Carrie Underwood

has followed

50 Cent

by signing a no-doubt ridiculously generous contract to shill Glacéau's vitaminwater, which will be one of the major sponsors of her tour.

Carrie, who just shot her first TV ad for the grody-tasting vitamin 'n' mineral beverage, will also design a limited-edition label.

Marissa Jaret Winokur

, star of the Broadway smash hit

Hairspray

, is getting a daytime gabshow. The Associated Press says Sony Pictures Television is developing the show for fall '09. Marissa is featured on this season's edition of

Dancing With the Stars

.

William Shatner

reveals in his new memoir,

Up Till Now

, that he was disliked by his

Star Trek

costars. So says the New York Daily News, which has excerpted passages from the tome. To his credit, Shatner says that once the series ended, he worked hard to repair his bonds with the cast. One man not afraid to be Shatner's bud was

Leonard Nimoy

, whose struggle with alcoholism is detailed in the book.

"I want them to kill me. And they won't!"

So says the charming

Maura Tierney

to AOL TV. No, Tierney isn't suicidal. The actress, who is unassuming to a fault, is talking about her

ER

character, Abby,

who is due to leave the show after 10 years.

"I had a really great time there, but it's been almost a decade, and part of me is ready to move on, but part of me is going to be very sad about it," Tierney said.

No word on how show creators will write Abby's departure.

Victoria's Secret model

Miranda Kerr

says she was not starstruck when she met her boyfriend, the superdreamy

Orlando Bloom

. "I adore him for

him

. Not for what he is," she tells People, which says Miranda and Orlando are both passionate about yoga and Buddhism.

There's bad news for anyone hoping to organize a Deport

Lindsay Lohan

Now! campaign: LiLo's rep has shot down reports - disseminated by the actress' da,

Michael Lohan

- that the 21-year-old star of the fatuous bomb

I Know Who Killed Me

plans to devote her life doing missionary work in India.

Pa Lohan claimed his girl was about to join Times Square Church Missions' next mission. "Our trip next February encompasses the issue of child sexual slavery," Michael said. LiLo's people say she's not going.

Tom Brokaw

doesn't seem too fazed that

Katie Couric

's days as a prime-time news anchor appear to be numbered. "I told her when she left that it's a dive off the high board," Brokaw is quoted as saying in the Boston Herald. Like Couric, the veteran newsman was also a host on NBC's

Today

before assaying the nightly news. "This is harder than it looks, to go from the morning to the evening," he said.

Raven-Symoné

, 22, whose self-titled CD is due out April 29, has indefinitely postponed her tour "due to unforeseen circumstances." She was scheduled to perform May 10 at Trump Taj Mahal in Atlantic City. Refunds are available at point of purchase.

Meanwhile, Raven-Symoné tells Ebony she hasn't made any compromises on her record. "I have to stay true to who I am," said the 5-foot-2 pop marvel. "I am not going to sing about sex, drugs and violence." The actress-singer also said she was more happy with her zaftig figure: "When I look in the mirror and see how voluptuously fabulous I am, I can't even worry about it. I am just fabulous."

Allen Baron

's once-forgotten, brilliant 1961 noir thriller,

Blast of Silence

, which was shown last week as part of the Philadelphia Film Festival, was released on DVD this week by the Criterion Collection (

» READ MORE: www.criterion.com

).

The bleak black-and-white film, which has a startling, if minimalist, visual style, is about a ruthless, misanthropic hit man who has a job to do in Manhattan during Christmas weekend.