Steve and Mia: Wife demands that hubby to stop tennis dates with platonic female pal

Steve is a 50-something married man who's been around the block. Mia is a 20-something single immersed in the Center City dating scene. They may not agree, but they have plenty of answers. If you'd like an answer to your romantic troubles, e-mail them at S&M@phillynews.com or write: S&M c/o Daily News, Box 7788, Philadelphia, PA 19101.

Q: My friend likes to play tennis, and he's good at it. A couple of times a month, he plays with a female co-worker about his age who's at his skill level. His wife is taking extreme issue with this. It's not that he doesn't want to play tennis with his wife, it's just that he likes the "competition" he gets with the co-worker, since his wife isn't a good tennis player. The relationship between the friend and the co-worker is completely platonic. His wife insists that he either find someone else to play with (none of his other friends play tennis), or stop the activity entirely. Concerns about cheating have never been an issue before. Is the wife being reasonable? Or should my friend stand up for himself and tell her to get over her jealousy?

Steve: As someone who runs every weekend with a female former colleague, you can guess where I am on this issue. Your friend needs to find out why his wife is so insecure about this. Perhaps he's been inattentive. Talk it out. Also, even though she's a lousy player, I recommend he play tennis with his wife a couple of times a month, too. It could improve her game.

Mia: Yeah, it seems like she's mad about something else. Provided he's not playing with this female friend every night, I don't see the problem. Maybe he could find an activity to do with his wife, something they're better matched for, so she doesn't feel left out.

Q: I am looking for some advice on how to approach my wife about a breast lift. We've been happily married for eight years and have two beautiful children. After the birth of our second child, my wife's breasts started to sag really bad. I know that it's a superficial thing, but it's becoming a turn-off, especially in the evening when her bra comes off. It's also negatively affecting our sex life. She mentioned in the past that she might like to get a breast lift, but she can be extremely sensitive.

Mia: Three words: Don't do it. There's no way your wife is going to take the suggestion well. Maybe you could buy her some sexy bras that would better support her boobs and suggest she wear them during sex? But suggesting the surgery will get you banished to the couch.

Steve: Well, as long as you agree to get a tummy tuck when your belly starts creeping over your belt, I see no problem. Think about all the wonderful things you love about your wife before you make such a radical suggestion. Unless, of course, you married her for her boobs.

Q: I'd like you to get this message out for me. I am a divorced mother of two who has been dating for seven years. Most guys I meet convince themselves they are in love after a date or two, even though I tell them from the start that I date other men and am not looking for a relationship until my daughters are older. Problem two, whether I have a sexual relationship with the guy or not, he assumes I am sleeping with every other guy I'm dating. Lastly, all of my girlfriends want to play cupid and fix me up, even though I protest. Please let people know, for my sanity, that not every single woman is looking for a Mr. Right, she is not sleeping through Philadelphia and, lastly, a day, week or month of dating is way too soon to truly love someone.

Steve: Your letter is so sensible you should be giving advice. I can help with one thing: The fastest way to make a man think he's in love with you is to tell him you don't want a serious relationship. To keep a man from being clingy, act slightly needy and desperate on your first date.

Mia: Maybe we should just put your final two lines in bold. Right on, sister. And tell your friends point-blank to stop the fix-ups or you'll stop the friendships. That's not cool. *