Steve and Mia: Keep it interesting, fake tattoos and all
Playing dress-up can freshen a marriage, and the rest falls into place
Steve is a 50-something married man who's been around the block. Mia is a 20-something single immersed in the Center City dating scene. They may not agree, but they have plenty of answers. If you'd like an answer to your romantic troubles, e-mail them at S&M@phillynews.com or write: S&M c/o Daily News, Box 7788, Philadelphia, PA 19101.
Q: I'm writing in response to the man who fantasizes about his fiancee's sister in her school uniform while they have sex. My husband and I are both in our 40s, and about a year ago we decided to spice things up. Dressing certain ways can be fun and exciting. I'm a typical PTA mom who dresses conservatively, but in the bedroom I can be whoever I want. I've been a slutty schoolgirl, cheap hooker, etc. My husband has been a cop, and just last weekend he was a rock star with wig, leather pants and fake tattoos. Couples should discuss their fantasies together. We all have different desires. My husband and I are more in love than ever, and I'm a firm believer that if you are happy in the bedroom, everything else falls into place.
Steve: I dressed up as Godzilla once, but my fire breath played hob with the curtains. I agree that bedroom happiness can smooth over the daily troubles that afflict most marriages. Keep on having fun.
Mia: Leather pants and fake tattoos? How Sid Vicious of him. But, hey, whatever works. I like to put on a beret and call myself Tanya in the bedroom.
Q: I'm a 79-year-old man in good shape and an excellent dancer. Most women flock to me at dance affairs. My problem is the 68-year-old woman I dance with (an excellent dancer, like me) only wants to dance. Nothing else! She is never at home when I call. Where does she go during the day? And am I wasting my time?
Steve:If you enjoy dancing, it isn't a waste of time. But it sounds like you want to extend your ballroom moves into the bedroom. And your partner doesn't want to dance to that tune. My advice: Have one partner for dancing and another for boogeying.
Mia:Maybe she has a job? Why don't you just ask her why she isn't around when you call before moving on to someone else? There might be a good explanation for the lack of action off the dance floor.
Q: I've been in the military for seven years and just recently broke up with my girlfriend, whom I've been dating for three years. Recent stress on both sides caused us to argue and fight over the most minute situations. I never showed her my anger until now. She couldn't take it and left me. She would not answer my calls, texts or e-mails. Finally, I agreed we could just be friends, but I am scared. If we are just friends, she will continue on with her life. I don't think she will come back to me on her own. If I pressure her, I may drive her even further away. All I know is I need and want her. I want to marry her and raise a family. The worst part is, even if we get back together, we will still be apart for the remaining three years I have left in the military. I am scared what may happen until then.
Mia: First, you need to understand that she may not want to get back together. That's just a reality. But if you still want to try to reignite the flames, you'll have to take it slow. Try just being friends for a while. Write e-mails, talk on the phone, let her get to know the guy she fell in love with. After you have had some down time, you can tell her you want another chance.
Steve: You should keep an open mind on this one. Your anger and your obsession with her are not healthy. Stay friends but try to establish some other relationships with women too. I'd hate to see you on the wrong end of a protection order. *