Tattle: Parker's mountain no longer a mole hill?

TO ALL

Sarah Jessica Parker

-watchers out there: a medical bulletin.

The "Sex and the City" star has had surgery, and . . .

It's gone.

Yes, it's true.

Her mole is gone.

Maybe.

As first reported by Fox News, Parker was still attached to her chin-skin appendage when she showed up for the MTV Movie Awards on June 1 but, in a mystery that oiled the squeaky gossip wheels, when she was snapped at the All-Star game on Tuesday, the area below her mouth seemed to be growth-less.

Some keen observers (who could work for NASA, trying to discern life from photos of soil samples) say that the latter photos show a blemish where the mole was, indicating that either a) she was covering it up for some reason, or b) it was now in the ocean, where other medical waste finds its final resting place.

No comment from the actress on her loss.

"It's true," one of those ubiquitous unnamed Hollywood "friends" told Usmagazine.com. "There was no reason for it. It wasn't because she didn't like her mole, and it wasn't because of any medical reason. It was simply because she was in the mood to have it removed. That's all."

We're not buying it (the explanation, not the mole, which, come to think of it, probably is for sale right now on eBay). We think Parker possibly might have been giving some thought lately to the aging process, imagined coarse hair growing out of the thing and saw herself ending up looking like that old Russian hag who lived in a shack on chicken legs.

But our best guess (it's not a good one, just our best) is that, when she went to see herself in the recent "Sex and the City" movie, on a big screen, that mole looked like an Indian burial mound hanging off her face.

And she had it nipped.

And that's that. Case closed.

Now, on to Jack Nicholson's nose hair problem . . .

Train-wreck update

It's been some time since our favorite famous and famous-for-being-famous free-falling celebs have made it into this column. And there's actually some good news, for a change . . . unless you're a gossip writer. But, despite some act-cleaning-up on their parts, we know that patience will be rewarded by future derailments.

Let's play catch-up, shall we?

_ Lindsay Lohan: Something unprecedented happened to this sometime-actress/fulltime self-destructo: A judge complimented her. L.A. Superior Court Judge H. Chester Horn Jr. apparently has patted li'l LiLo's head for her "proper attendance" and "no missed dates" in relation to the terms of her plea deal and three-year probation hammered out last year on five misdemeanor counts. (Why is it that, for us, "proper attendance" and "no missed dates" are mandatory and expected, and for her a minor miracle deserving of praise?) Next hearing: January 2009 - plenty of time to screw up between now and then.

Also, the true nature of Lohan's relationship with Samantha Ronson seems pretty set: They're a couple. They've even double-dated with Ronson's brother, Grammy award-winning producer Mark Ronson. Let's hope he drove.

_ Britney Spears: The Norma Desmond to Lohan's Baby Jane, Brit seems to be finding some balance in her spinning flameout of a life. Says her manager Larry Rudolph: "Britney is getting back in touch with Britney." However, it might be by long distance. She is back in the studio, reportedly working on a new album, she is said to be feeling good and "giggly," and, says Rudolph, has "people around her that really care about her and are there to point her in the right direction in respect to the things she should be concentrating on - her life." And it's been, oh, months since she ran over anybody's foot or put her kids in direct contact with a dashboard.

_ Paris Hilton: Practically the elder statesman of stupid stuff, Hilton must have been stinging with rebuke at not having been mentioned in a gossip column for a while, so in just the past week it is reported that she is both trying to get pregnant (even stopping drinking!) with current boyfriend Benji Madden and at the same time hitting a bar and throwing her much video-ogled bod at a soccer star named Cristiano Ronaldo, who had the good sense to tell her to take it elsewhere. About the childbearing thing: Stories abound that Paris isn't so much interested in having a kid as she is reclaiming the publicity spotlight from friend/rival Nicole Richie, who gave birth in January to a daughter. The creepy thing is: Richie's husband, Joel, is the twin brother of Paris' squeeze. One of those all-knowing sources told the New York Post, "She's jealous of all the attention Nicole Richie has been getting and knows she's fallen off in the [tabloids] lately. A baby would put her back in the news." And into our hearts. Yikes - who are these people?

Tattbits

_ Actor Dennis Farina, who made the supremo bonehead move of showing up to fly out of L.A. International Airport in May with a loaded gun in his pocket - has he been too busy to check in with a news outlet since, oh, 9/11? - yesterday got two years' probation.

_ Big day for Amy Poehler. Fairly soon after she received an Emmy nomination yesterday for outstanding actress in a comedy series for her work on "Saturday Night Live," she confirmed that she's doing a Tina Fey and leaving the show to star in a spinoff of "The Office." She's also pregnant, and her husband, Will Arnett, also was Emmy-nominated for a guest shot on "30 Rock," which was created by Tina Fey, who . . .

Daily News wire services contributed to this report.