Ask Amy: A robbery, a parental reaction

Dear Amy:

I am a 15-year-old girl and live with my parents and younger brother in a nice neighborhood. Every couple of months, we visit relatives for part of the weekend, coming home midmorning Sunday.

Three weeks ago, I finally got permission to stay home alone - with a list of rules that I obeyed totally.

Around midnight I was watching TV, heard some noise and was suddenly confronted by an intruder who had gotten in through a window. He was pretty gruff and scary but didn't hurt me. He tied my wrists behind my back with a cord and took money and stuff from around the house.

He took a roll of duct tape from his pocket and taped my mouth, legs and arms, and he left me on the floor.

I couldn't get loose and stayed there for 10 hours until my parents came home at 9:30 in the morning.

They were naturally quite upset - more upset than I was, in fact. I was stiff and achy but pretty calm.

Now, however, I have another problem. My parents won't let me stay home alone when they go visiting overnight. I've argued, pleaded and sulked, but they insist I go with them.

Amy, what happened was a fluke. I'm not scared. It's as if I'm being punished for what happened.

How can I change my parents' mind about this? I feel like I'm still tied up.  Tied

Dear Tied: As a parent, I'm very frightened for you. Leaving you home alone was a lapse in judgment on your folks' part. I'm sure they are kicking themselves over this, and you shouldn't expect them to leave you alone overnight for the near future.

None of this has anything to do with how responsible you are, but with how vulnerable you are when alone in your house overnight. What happened to you probably wasn't a fluke. If your family goes away regularly, this person could have been casing the house, deciding to break in while they were gone.

You don't mention if your parents have done so, but the police should be notified immediately.

You are obviously a responsible and resilient girl, but you've been through a traumatic event; your parents should make sure you meet with a counselor. Even though you're doing well now, this sort of experience has a way of cropping up later. You may need some help to process it.