Ask Amy: Birthday flowers for some workers, not all

Dear Amy:

We have a female boss who sends flowers to some female colleagues on their birthdays. The problem is that she gives to some and not others. Many of us have worked here many years, and this favoritism has deeply hurt some of us who have worked hard for her.

Those of us who are ignored have spoken about this among ourselves, but we do not know how to handle it with her. We worry that talking to her could mean she would make our jobs miserable, but we think if you respond with a solution, we could show it to her. We're pretty afraid of her.

She shows such favoritism to some workers that it makes the rest quite unhappy. It makes us hate our jobs!

Dear Worried:

Your boss sounds like a pill - and not a very good boss. The best bosses inspire their colleagues to put forth their best efforts.

If your boss has a boss, or your workplace an HR department, this matter could be brought to their attention.

Common sense should dictate that playing favorites creates unhappiness and affects productivity, but it is surprising how many bosses (and teachers and parents) don't realize that.

Dear Amy:

My uncle hosted a reception for his daughter and her new husband. They were married a month earlier in an exotic location, and the reception was for relatives and friends.

It was a very nice affair held in a lovely setting. However, there was one incident that's really bugging me. During the couple's first dance, the bride's sister's 3-year-old son and a little girl walked onto the dance floor and began dancing together.

The sister and her husband didn't retrieve them. While the couple were having their first dance, the photographer was taking photos not of them but of the two children!

The focus of the event shifted to the kids.

My elderly relatives were gushing about how cute the children looked. Meanwhile, I looked over, and there's the bridal couple in their first dance looking like uninvited guests at their own party.

Part of me thought of walking onto the dance floor and shooing the children off. Part of me thought of walking over to my cousin, the child's mother, and saying something. Instead, I walked out for some air.

What would you have done?

Dear Sheep:

Smart brides and grooms know they are no match for their pint-size guests, dressed in tiny dresses and tuxedos and with a built-in awww factor, which is why these little children are often plied with Shirley Temples and wedding cake and sent to bed during the dancing portion of the evening.

It would have been best for the parents to take the children off the floor during the couple's first dance, but it's important to remember that weddings aren't just about the bride and groom, but about families coming together, and these quirky incidents can be charming.