Dave on Demand: MTV Awards offered the bizarre and bad

I hear that Lil Wayne, Kid Rock and Kanye West all delivered good performances on the

MTV Video Music Awards

this week.

I wouldn't know. I changed the channel after the first 20 minutes, my fingers shaking with culture shock.

First, there was that juvenile backstage skit with Britney Spears and Jonah Hill of

Superbad

. Then Britney took the stage to deliver some stiff and stilted opening remarks.

Things got really bizarre when MTV brought out its master of ceremonies, British bad-boy comedian Russell Brand. He looked like he had leaped out of the hairdresser's chair halfway through his treatment.

His hosting style was schizophrenic, mixing unctuous compliments with truly nasty insults. Brand was like Tom Bergeron with advanced Tourette's.

For the first musical performance, Rihanna was dragged to the stage, surrounded by hordes of dancing zombies, in a giant metal hive. It was like the Borg queen from

Star Trek

remaking Michael Jackson's "Thriller."

Afterward, it was back to Brand for more disjointed and offensive commentary. I tuned out after the Jonas Brothers performed. Seeing this wholesome trio appear during MTV's circus of depravity was too dissonant, like Barney Fife turning up at an orgy.

Didn't get the memo.

The kickoff for

Entourage

's new season opened with Richard Roeper ripping Vince's

Medellin

on his

At the Movies

TV show.

Oops, Roeper left the show a couple of months ago. Thirty seconds into the season and

Entourage

is already looking stale.

Good in bed?

It didn't strike me until recently that the full name of

Gossip Girl

's high-school Romeo is Nate Archibald (played by Chace Crawford). That's got to be an homage to one of my all-time favorite basketball players, slick, high-scoring guard Nate Archibald.

This week, the TV namesake hit a romantic low: pimping himself to the wealthy Duchess (Madchen Amick). I just hope this bed-hopping playboy doesn't share Nate's nickname: Tiny.

Hardly identical.

Did you catch the debut of CW's

Privileged

? I think it's targeted at girls making that tricky transition from

Gilmore Girls

to

Sex and the City

.

But it received my Doubly Ludicrous Award. Not only was ditzy Megan (JoAnna Garcia) completely unbelievable as a recent Yale graduate, but the spoiled girls she was hired to tutor (Lucy Kate Hale and Ashley Newbrough) make the most unlikely twins since Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito teamed up on the big screen.

Here's a story. . .

It was just announced that Josh Groban will be singing a medley of classic TV theme songs on next week's Emmy Awards broadcast.

Note to self: Must locate mute button on that overloaded Comcast remote.

Prime-time sisters.

Last week, I mentioned the remarked-upon resemblance between Sarah Palin and Tina Fey. The readers of "Dave on Demand" struck back with several Palin TV lookalikes of their own.

Here are my favorites: Dr. Melfi (Lorraine Bracco) on

The Sopranos

, Elaine (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) on

Seinfeld,

and Peggy Hill on the Fox cartoon

King of the Hill

.

No Joe Biden separated-at-birth suggestions yet.