Hello there
Shump and Ashley met on one of the worst days Ashley ever had.
Ashley then taught at James Alcorn Elementary, a K-8 school in South Philadelphia. In March 2006, a popular student who had recently transferred to a new school was shot to death. Pervasive grief enveloped the school - but so did anger and fear. One group of students blamed another for their friend's death, and Ashley was concerned that violence would erupt in the neighborhood.
After school on the day of the funeral, Ashley escorted a group of students home. On the way, Ashley saw one of the dead boy's best friends wearing a memorial T-shirt. He was standing among a group of students and adults. She walked over to him and asked if he was OK.
"You're not going to think about any fighting, right? Fighting and jumping people will not bring him back."
"No, Miss Hayman. I'm cool," he told her.
Ashley wasn't entirely convinced. As she headed back to her car, she heard someone ask the student if she was his teacher. The man was Shump.
Just as Ashley was about to get into her car, Shump asked for her number.
There was no way she was giving her number to a stranger standing on a street corner, she thought, but maybe she could use his interest for the greater good.
"You can't have my number, but you can give me your number if you promise to keep an eye on that kid over there and make sure he doesn't get into trouble," Ashley said.
She had no intention of ever calling him. But the next day at school, the boy from the corner ran up to her. "Oh, man, Miss Hayman! You had Shump asking if I was OK? He kept telling me to go home!"
Touched by his effort, Ashley texted Shump a thank you, and a few texts later, agreed that he could call her.
They clicked, big time. The teacher with the master's degree from the University of Pennsylvania was learning more about life in a rough neighborhood than she ever had in urban education classes. And Shump was amazingly kind and thoughtful. She had mentioned in their conversations that she was always running late in the morning, and he began buying her breakfast at the corner store, and sending it to her with one of the neighborhood kids.
They began having lunch together at McDonald's. And then dinners and movies. Always, there was a lot of deep conversation about her life, growing up in Center City, and his, in South Philly. "Just when I thought that I knew it all, that I was so smart, he was teaching me things that I had no clue about. And the more I talked to him, the more I was falling in love with him."
The feeling was mutual.
But Ashley was listening to her head. How could a woman with an advanced degree and a career be with an unemployed high school dropout with a record of drug-related offenses? "I'll be your friend," she told him. "But I can't be your girlfriend. I need somebody who has a job, who is on the right path."
Shump wanted those things, he told her. But he didn't know how to get them. With her encouragement, he began to try.
"It was a long, hard struggle. There were days when he was crying, when he was ready to quit looking and give up," Ashley said. "I told him it takes time for my friends with college degrees to find jobs, and he has a criminal record. It was going to be harder."
A year ago in April, Shump was hired at his current job with the city Parks and Recreation Department.
Along the way, Ashley started listening to her heart and became Shump's girlfriend.
How does forever sound?
In June 2007, Ashley and Shump took his daughters, Tatiana, 10, and Shaniya, 4, to the aquarium to celebrate Shump's and Shaniya's birthdays. When the couple returned to their South Philadelphia home, Shump opened his presents, then told Ashley he had something for her. He handed her a box the size of a hardback novel.
"It's your birthday! I'm supposed to give you presents!" Ashley said. She shook the box. There was something moving around inside. It was a ring.
It was so them
Special touches at the reception gave a nod to fairy tales, which the couple feel they have lived. The colors were dusty pink, gold and ivory. Instead of numbers, the tables had names like magic mirror and enchanted forest. On each table, roses and other flowers sat inside large, clear apothecary jars, which were lit with pink light and sparkled with gold accents.
Ashley, who now works at Abigail Vare Elementary, said it was easy for outsiders to think that in this fairy tale, the princess came to the prince's rescue. Her new husband credits her love and support for his on-track life. But Ashley says she's a better teacher - and a better person - because of the lessons Shump has taught her.
This didn't happen at rehearsal
When it was time to cut the cake, Ashley noticed the layers were round, not square, and the trim more yellow than gold. She also was told to cut the middle layer for the cake-cutting ceremony.
After the wedding, one of her coordinators told her why: The cake cracked on the way to the reception. After an attempt to fix it failed, the baker quickly assembled a new one. The top two layers were cake - the bottom one was cardboard.
Awestruck
The couple were really moved by the toasts of love and support their family and friends made. When the best man told Shump how proud he was of him, other guests yelled out that they were, too. Ashley's dad said that he'd heard a lot of comments that day about where Shump had come from, but as far as he was concerned, it must have been heaven, because, "you're an angel." Her mom said that there was no one she'd rather have her daughter marry.
Discretionary spending
The bargain: The couple saved $300 by cutting out the champagne toast.
The splurge: Ashley thought she could save money by doing things herself, but with the cost of shipping materials, she spent $150 more on the favors she made than she would have if she bought the premade ones she had considered. Ashley also spent about $2,000 more on food and location than she needed to, but in her family, there's no skimping on the food. "With Jewish people, the food is important!" she said.
The getaway
Five nights in Costa Rica.
Love:
BEHIND THE SCENES
Officiant
Pennsylvania Court
Pennsylvania Court of Common Pleas Judge Linda Carpenter
Venue
Evviva, Narberth
Catering
Evviva
Photography
Flash Rosenberg,
New York
Music
DJ Shawn T of T-Tyme Entertainment, Philadelphia
Dress
David's Bridal, Plymouth Meeting
Invitations
123weddingcards.com, Jaipur, India
Planner
LifeStyle Events, Philadelphia
Florist
Sandy O Studio, Philadelphia
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