Hello there
Nary and Jeff have both taught in the Abington School District for more than a dozen years - she teaches third grade at Rydal Elementary; he teaches sixth at Highland. They've known each other most of that time, because the staff often socializes. Since about 1999, Nary and Jeff regularly met as a twosome, but it wasn't about dating. It was about dumplings. "We had this realization that we both love dim sum," Nary said. "I wouldn't even put on any makeup."
To be sure, they had good rapport. Nary was born in Cambodia. Jeff's parents were born in Taiwan, but he was born in Colorado. She was comfortable enough to needle him: "I'm more Asian than you are!"
In 2005, the curriculum coordinator asked Nary, now 34, and Jeff, 33, if they would give a presentation on teaching math during an induction program for new teachers.
Afterward, they spent several hours talking in the parking lot. The sun had gone down when Jeff said, "We should start going out with each other."
Nary wanted to, but some of her cultural traditions got in the way. "The way that I'm raised, I'm not supposed to have these American dates," she said. She had suitors. She was expected to choose a mate whom she met through family ties.
That December, Nary bought a house. Of all her friends and colleagues, Jeff was the only one who showed up to help her move. During the day, he called friends to cancel dinner plans so they could finish the job. "I thought, 'He's quite a catch,' " Nary remembered. They started going on actual dates. After half a dozen, she overcame cultural hesitation and kissed him.
How does forever sound?
In April 2007, Jeff and Nary spent a weekend in New York. After seeing Rent, they walked to Central Park. Jeff led the way to a large rock, where they had sat on a previous trip. "I think this is the same rock!" Nary said. Jeff seemed nonchalant. Then, from his school backpack, he pulled out a ring. After Nary said yes, Jeff went back to his bag for two glasses and a little bottle of champagne.
It was so them
The couple, who live in Willow Grove, married at the Fonthill Castle Estate in Doylestown. A reception for 120 guests followed at the same location.
One of the readings included the word for peace in many languages, including Chinese and Cambodian.
The reception had a travel theme. Every table was named after a place Jeff and Nary had traveled to. For their favors, the couple folded recycled paper embedded with wildflower seeds into small pyramids - a nod to their honeymoon in Egypt and Turkey. The pyramids were filled with mints, and a note told guests they could plant the pyramids and get wildflowers.
The music included Cambodian songs so Nary's family could enjoy traditional Cambodian dances.
This didn't happen at rehearsal
As ring-bearer, Nary's 5-year-old nephew, Randy, was to carry a pillow with faux rings down the aisle, then sit next to his mother. At ring-exchange time, his mother would tie the real rings on, and Randy would take them to the couple.
Randy went down the aisle, skipping and running. In the way of 5-year-olds, he did not want to sit. Instead, he ran around the church, dodging the adults who were trying to catch him without making too much noise or commotion during the ceremony.
One of the groomsmen got the rings from Nary's sister. Don't worry, Randy. Your aunt loves you lots, and found the whole thing kind of funny.
Awestruck
After the ceremony, Jeff and Nary skipped the receiving line. "We went into a small room and locked the door," Nary said. "We just hugged each other and looked into each other's eyes." Nary thought: "This is it. This is for real."
Discretionary spending
The bargain: They considered a live band, but opted instead for a DJ, who was also a teacher and a friend of the couple. That saved about $1,000.
The splurge: Fonthill and a caterer. "When all of my siblings married, the receptions were at a Chinese restaurant," Nary said. "But we were not doing a Cambodian wedding; we were doing our dream wedding." They loved Fonthill from the moment they saw it, they picked food they loved, and they didn't let the cost - about twice as much as the Chinese-restaurant option - deter them.
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Behind the Scenes
Officiant
Marguerite Sexton of Journeys of the Heart, Jenkintown.
Venue
Fonthill Castle Estate, Doylestown.
Catering
Memorable Affairs, Doylestown.
Photography
Catherine Hennessy, Philadelphia.
Music
Ray Haertsch, Abington.
Dress
David's Bridal, Plymouth Meeting.
Invitations
David's Bridal