Steve and Mia: Greeting cards announcing divorce?

Q: My very good friend and her husband have divorced after 25 years of marriage. I knew this was coming but was shocked this week when I received a card in the mail with a black ribbon on it. At first I thought someone had died, but when I read it I saw it was a divorce announcement that included their new addresses. My friend had sent these cards to everyone she knew and everyone on their Christmas list! I am dumbfounded and think this is in terrible taste. But I don't want to say anything to upset my friend. Am I wrong about this? Is this a custom I'm just unfamiliar with? What do you guys think?

Mia: I've never heard of that, but I'm not quite old enough to have a lot friends divorcing yet. Probably in another five years! Still, I'm going to bet that there's an Emily Post way to handle this, and it doesn't involve sending out funeral cards. I think this is a situation when you should just call people personally.

Steve: I like this idea! But why so glum? How about a bright and cheery card with your photo on it that reads, "Guess Who's Single Again?" Or a funny one that reads on the outside, "There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman." Inside it says, "Before marriage and after marriage." Better yet would be a card you could send to your spouse asking for a divorce. Well, maybe not. I'm not sure your friend's card signals a trend, but if it helped her move on, I see no harm in it.

Q: A friend of mine is really excited about her new boyfriend, who seems like a really nice guy. They've been dating for about a month and are taking a road trip together next week. She told me she wants to try to convince him to elope while they're away. When I told her that was an incredibly stupid idea, she stopped speaking to me. Was I wrong?

Mia: Well no, you were right. But people rarely want to hear the truth - something we're well aware of as opinion columnists. Give her a day or two to cool down, then call her and make it clear that while you care about her and like the boyfriend, you just worry about her getting married too fast. But stress that you will support whatever decision she makes, because you want her in your life.

Steve: Never, ever comment on a friend's relationship choices, no matter how appalling they are. This is a no-win situation, even when you are right and she is wrong. You just have to hope that rational thought will eventually take hold. *