Dave on Demand: Fox, dropping cartoons, sacrifices kids to cash

The saddest news of the TV week is Fox's announcement that it is canceling its entire Saturday morning cartoon slate in favor of infomercials.

Hold on there, Baba Looey! This represents to me the elimination of one of the last vestiges of innocence and idealism left in the medium.

I grew up in a time when cartoons were a broadcast staple on Saturday mornings and during after-school hours. They were a children's oasis.

My BFFs included The Jetsons, Top Cat, "Peabody's Improbable History" on The Bullwinkle Show, and vintage Popeye. Even the music was great.

Admittedly, the Fox cartoon lineup was nothing to wake up early for. It included prefab garbage like Kirby: Right Back at Ya! and Biker Mice From Mars. Still, it's the principle of the thing. (That may be the only time you will see a paragraph with Fox and principle in such close proximity.)

Fox claims it was forced out of the cartoon business by all the niche cable outlets targeted specifically at children. But that programming situation has been the same for a decade and more.

No, this was a bottom-line decision. TV has become increasingly and transparently mercenary. For instance, Knight Rider is still on despite the fact that viewers hate it and nobody watches it, purely because NBC has so many product placement deals connected to the series that it practically pays for itself. Profit has completely won out over entertainment.

In Fox's case, the switch to paid programming is expected to reap the network $25 million a year, according to the Los Angeles Times. (Who knew there was so much money in miracle cleaning products, real-estate schemes, and exercise equipment?)

Forget the kids. Bring on the snake-oil salesmen.

No disputing taste. Apparently the line is drawn. You can be a fan of Jeopardy! or 30 Rock, but not both.

This week Ken Jennings, a big Jeopardy! winner, examined a ratings map and observed on his blog, "Confessions of a Trivial Mind": "We learn that the venerable quiz show's highest ratings are in Montana, South Dakota, Vermont and Mississippi, which have pretty much nothing in common except for how rural they are. . . . Jeopardy! being sort of an old-fashioned, fuddy-duddy property, it has a stigma for hip city folks."

Meanwhile, Jack McBrayer - who plays Kenneth the page on 30 Rock - mused on the Web site "The Daily Beast" about why his sitcom's audience is limited: "Maybe it's an acquired taste? Only people in big cities like it? The media elite? When I went home to Georgia recently, I can tell you that not a lot of people were watching it."

Hmmm, wonder what the suburbanites are watching?

Slow down, Bub. Have you noticed all the commercials in which wives give their husbands a luxury car, usually with a giant bow on the roof, for Christmas? (If this is a holiday tradition, it hasn't found its way to my house yet.)

The ad with this premise that really bugs me is for Audi. We see the husband, after receiving his fuel-injected present, accelerating madly down a residential block with a delirious grin on his face.

This is a vehicular disaster just waiting to happen.

Menu items. Rosie O'Donnell recently cast a 17-year-old with no acting experience to star in her cable movie America after spotting the young man in a Detroit restaurant.

Well, where else do you think Rosie is going to go talent-scouting? Can't you just see her barking at an assistant, "I need a director. Run down to the IHOP and find me one"?