Ask Amy: Husband 'stinks' with finances

Dear Amy:

My husband is a walking financial disaster. He doesn't listen to me. He thinks he knows it all. We have lost our home to foreclosure and are really struggling.

We have been married for 13 years and have three children. He has always been a stubborn person. He is not teachable and does not take anyone's advice. He has maintained his stance with handling our finances, and he stinks at it.

What do I do? I am a Christian, so divorce is not an option. Even the kids agree that something has to change.

We have an opportunity to become debt-free, but he is determined to drag us through unnecessary stress and strain! Pride is in his way. What should I do?

Dear Hanging:

Your husband needs to do no more than read the newspaper to understand that the financial crisis is burying many families and that your household's situation should be treated like the emergency it is.

If he won't listen to you, and if you are part of a faith community, perhaps he will listen to your clergy. Make an appointment and go together.

Many spiritual leaders have identified debt as a significant spiritual issue. Debt creates financial insecurity and chaos; being weighed down by debt also means that you can't direct your financial resources where they should be used - supporting family and community.

A book that offers a good primer for financial awareness is The Wealthy Barber, by David Chilton (1997, Three Rivers Press). The author identifies and describes the habits of an ordinary person who used his (limited) financial resources very wisely.