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Sideshow: Take care, 'Idol' judges; don't take offense

American Idol judges: Get out of the house more! During the Jan. 21 show in Louisville, Ky., a local named Mark Mudd, whose name really is, auditioned sans talent or success. But he did claim he had "almost died" five times, and that an ancestor was Samuel Mudd, jailed in 1865 for helping Lincoln killer John Wilkes Booth. Family pride!

American Idol

judges: Get out of the house more!

During the Jan. 21 show in Louisville, Ky., a local named

Mark Mudd

, whose name really is, auditioned sans talent or success. But he

did

claim he had "almost died" five times, and that an ancestor was

Samuel Mudd

, jailed in 1865 for helping Lincoln killer

John Wilkes Booth

. Family pride!

Them city-slicker Hollywood judges thumbs-downed Mudd's music, and as he left, he said, "All right. Take care and be careful."

Idol

's

Paula Abdul

went slightly insane. Which

never

happens.

Abdul: "What?"

Mudd: "Be careful in whatever you do."

Abdul: "Was that a threat? That was a threat."

She told him this was not "a normal thing to say to people." Which, in many parts of the South, it actually is.

Now, with true network-TV courage,

Idol

has abased itself to all people, objects and real estate south of the Mason-Dixon. "We apologize to any viewers who were offended by the misinterpretation of the contestant's comment," said a statement released Wednesday. " . . . [S]ometimes regional greetings and salutations are lost in translation."

What's regional Hollywoodese for "Goodbye"? "Let's do lunch"? "I just love your nails"? "Don't sign any options I wouldn't sign"?

They've just got to be more careful in whatever they do.

Amy and McC attack

Paul McCartney

is not dead!

Neither, surprisingly, is

Amy Winehouse

!

Know how we know? Because Beatle and Rehabber will headline the 10th Annual Coachella Valley Music & Arts Festival, April 17-19 in Indio, Calif. (Ticketmaster tix.)

The list of 130-plus performers includes the hip (

the Killers

,

Franz Ferdinand

,

Public Enemy

,

Conor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band

,

Yeah Yeah Yeahs

,

Trav$DJ-AM

,

the Black Keys

,

Michael Franti & Spearhead

,

Groove Armada,

and

We Are Scientists

), the midrange (

Morrissey

), and the lengthening-in-tooth (

the Cure

and

Leonard Cohen

, hallelujah).

For the toothsome McCartney, 66, it's his first U.S. festival, and he tells E! Online, "I'm really excited to get out there and rock!" A crowd of 140,000 will see him do so.

Think before you Twit

We all love to Twitter. We love to say what we're thinking exactly when we think it. We know the rest of the world wants to know.

Don't

they?

But Twitter too quick, and the world may titter.

Ashton Kutcher

now knows this. On Thursday, construction din from his neighbor's house awoke him and his guardian (sorry),

Demi Moore

, from love-spangled slumber at 7 a.m., an hour L.A. knoweth not.

Ticked, Kutcher went on Twitter and hated his neighbor. He told his videoblog: "I'm gonna lose it on this guy!" Problem: Kutcher has raised noise and dust on his own $3 mil house, with nary a peep from his neighbor. And by L.A. law, banging and jackhammering and blasting may begin at 7 sharp.

Self-punked, Ashton got out fork and knife and dined on his earlier words. "I've calmed down from my morning spaz-out," the contrite Kutcher said on his v-blog. "I pledge to be more tolerant of my neighbor's hammering in the morning." Titter.