Sideshow: Gwyn: Haters don't get my Goop

Don't be mean to my Goop!

So sayeth Gwyneth Paltrow (well, more or less, anyway), who is totally saddened and mystified that the New York Times has slammed her Web site, Goop (http://goop.com/), as "fatuous and a bit puzzling." Gwyn tells People, "I think the people who are criticizing it or criticizing the idea of it, don't really get it, because if they did, they would like it." (But of course.)

Canadian rag the Globe and Mail also has made a sweet dig: It opines that the site is called Goop because " 'Any Old Load of Rubbish' and 'Learn From Me, Ungrateful Peasant' were both taken."

No, not

Seinfeld

, but

Seinfeld

. As in

Jerry

.

The world's expert on The Nothing will produce The Marriage Ref, a reality show that will probably do more to undermine the institution of marriage than anything else.

The NBC show will have a real-life couple airing their dirty laundry on-air. A team of celebs will provide (no doubt rude) comments on the recriminations, jealousies, and sexual frustrations unleashed by the shameless couple. A referee will judge which one is right or wrong.

"After nine years of marriage, I have discovered that the comedic potential of this subject is quite rich," Jerry said. No word yet on whether he will actually appear on the show.

The March 5 arraignment for singer

Chris Brown

, who has been accused of assaulting his girlfriend

Rihanna

during Grammy weekend, may be postponed, Los Angeles district attorney rep

Jane Robison

tells E! News. Robison says police are still collecting evidence to support various possible felonies, including domestic violence and assault resulting in great bodily injury. She said her office would use that evidence to determine whether Brown would be charged with a felony or a misdemeanor violation.

Brown, 19, has made a concerted effort to clean up his bad-boy image. The New York Daily News said this week he started attending a voluntary anger management class.

American Idol

's resident kook,

Paula Abdul

, says she had no intention of insulting

Kara DioGuardi

when she told OK! mag that having four judges on

Idol

"doesn't work" because it "slows down the pace of the show."

Kara said the comment cut into her soul like a sharp, hot scalpel. (Well, not exactly.) "Paula has a right to her opinions, but I was disappointed by her comments," said Kara, who debuted on the show this season.

Paula told Entertainment Tonight her remark was "taken completely out of context," adding, "I was actually referring specifically to the use of 'guest judges' in seasons past, not Kara." (Right . . .)

A rep for

Lost

star

Evangeline Lilly

tells E!Online that a report by Zap2It.com that Lilly is auditioning for fall pilots - which implies that she is leaving

Lost

- is "absolutely false."

The PEN/Faulkner Foundation yesterday announced that

Joseph O'Neill

's

Netherland

, which had been passed over for the National Book Awards and the National Book Critics Circle prize, has been awarded the PEN/Faulkner prize.

Netherland

is narrated by a man who lives in downtown Manhattan at the time of the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks. Finalists were

Sarah Shun-Lien Bynum

's

Ms. Hempel Chronicles

,

Susan Choi

's

A Person of Interest

,

Richard Price

's

Lush Life

, and

Ron Rash

's

Serena

.

The Cannes Film Festival won't begin for three more months, but festival prez

Gilles Jacob

on Wednesday awarded

Clint Eastwood

a special Palme d'Or, the fest's highest honor.

The prize marks "the talent of a grand master at the summit of his craft," a statement read. Jacob added in highbrow arty talk that it also was a "testimony of my admiration and a quarter-century of complicity."

Clint was direct: "I'm very flattered."

The French are full of gifts this week: Yesterday Culture Minister

Christine Albanel

honored

Dustin Hoffman

, 71, by making him an honorary commander in France's National Order of Arts and Letters. The

Marathon Man

star fought back tears. "When you get to my age, you cry at the weather reports," he said.

Dustin follows in the footsteps of France's all-time fave political philosopher, Jerry Lewis, who was given the same honor in '84.

Alas, there's trouble in

Jewel

-land: The singer writes on her blog that she's worried she may have to drop out of

Dancing With the Stars

because of tendinitis in her knees. "I guess I really overdid it on the rehearsal front," says J. She says she hopes she can get back on the floor once the swelling goes down.