Dear Amy:

My husband and I are in our 70s. Between us, we have 11 siblings who are in their 80s.

My husband feels we should attend the funerals that probably will be coming up soon (we live on the West Coast and they live in the east).

We do not have the money to do this, even with bereavement fares.

Is there a way to handle this without seeming callous?

I also need to have my husband understand that it's not doable in terms of our budget.

- Margaret, Seattle

Dear Margaret: I'd like to suggest an alternative to your fretting about attending multiple funerals that haven't happened yet.

If you can possibly manage it and if your health is stable, I'd suggest making a grand swing through the country this summer to visit as many siblings as possible while you're all still here.

Make the very most of your visit and enjoy the company of your family members while you can.

Airfares have gone down recently, and you could have someone work with you using budget travel Web sites to plan the most economical way to make your tour.

Tell yourselves that you won't fret about future travels until the sad need arises.